And this is fair for you?
by Schreiberin44
Summary: Casey is shattered after Dawson left him to just be a normal candidate, bringing back some unpleasant memories and the feeling of guilt and lose. Severide is trying the best to help his friend through this rough patch but Casey is loosing it and a call slowly turns into a suicidal mission for one of them.( Casey angst and Casey hurt and of course a lot of Casey&Severide friendship)
1. Chapter 1

I have to write this tiny little oneshot! We just got a glimpse of Casey and Severide after „the big breakup" but I have to put more into it! Just a little! You know me ;o)

I am not putting this into the "In harms way" collection because it's not fitting in there. And YES I know I really have to update!

So I hope you will have fun with this little piece! I loved this sentence so so much and that is why this story is named like this. It gives me chills every time I watch it:

**And this is fair for you (3x11)**

Severide entered Molly's, waving his hello to Dawson before turning towards Hermann to order a beer.

"Hey Severide, how is Casey doing?" Otis asked, getting Severide to look back at him with a puzzled look.

"Why?" He asked.

He had seen Casey just a few hours ago at the hospital, waiting on news from junior Boden.

"Damn you really don't know anything? I thought he is your best friend."

"He is. What the hell is going on here?" Severide asked, looking towards Dawson. She wouldn't be here if anything serious had happened to Casey. Despite that he would have known as his emergency contact.  
>"Dawson and Casey broke up." Cruz now told him, getting Severide to widen his eyes.<p>

"They what?" He asked, looking at Dawson again. How could she be working here if they just broke up?

"Yeah Dawson just asked Sylvie if she can move in with her for a while." Cruz pointed the obvious out. Severide slowly shook his head, gulping his beer down. He needed to know how Casey was doing. Casey had always been holding it together. Loosing Haley, loosing the Darden boys, loosing his mum again and again...but with Dawson it was different. Severide excused himself before hurrying towards his car. He could just hope Casey wouldn't do anything stupid. Even a man like Casey could reach his breaking point.

Severide hurried inside the apartment that he was sharing with Casey...and Dawson for the last couple of month. He tried to slow down but his pace was still to fast as he rounded the corner spotting Casey immediately. Casey and the big whole inside the wall. 

"He is loosing it" – Severide thought before trying his best to switch into lightly best friend mood. He knew Casey to well then to pick the subject up immediately.

_"Wow, what happened here?"_ He asked looking at Casey.

"_Got in an accident."_ he mumbled before looking up at Kelly who was returning his gaze, telling him silently that he wasn't believing a single word. Casey just returned his gaze, knowing that he couldn't play Severide in any way.

He could feel Severide's eyes on his damaged hand. It was still pounding like hell.

"_You need to talk to her!"_ Severide pointed out while marching into the kitchen to grab himself a beer...and to see how much Casey had been drinking since. Spotting the half drowned bottle of Vodka on the kitchen table he knew that it was serious.

"_I did talk to her. Right before she walked out."_ Casey continued still busy to prepare fixing the wall. Severide quickly looked at the picture of Casey and Dawson on the fridge, the peaceful smile on Casey's face. This couldn't be happening. Casey needed her so much.

"_You need to put up a fight Casey. You could have stopped her." _Severide continued, pointing out the obvious, trying to find out what was going on in his best friends mind.

"_Yeah I could have. Our situation was to hard on her. It couldn't have been easy for her to make this decision. It wouldn't be fair from me to hold her back."_  
><em>"And this is fair for you?"<em> Severide asked getting Casey to look at him. Severide continued to walk past Casey, sure he would turn to him and talk to him if he was ready for it.

Severide quickly turned around as the chart Casey was using to measure the wall met the ground with full force, the anger now clearly visible in Casey's body language again.

"I agreed to be her Lieutenant so she got the chance to stay at 51, to become a canidate, a firefighter."

"You did that for her even if you knew the whole time that it wouldn't work out." Severide said picking up their long and brief talk about Casey's doubts after Boden had asked him to take Dawson as his candidate.

"Yeah I did."

"And now you let her walk away from your engagement because she thinks it's best for both of you. That it's best for HER career. You will still be her Lieutenant. How do you think this is going to work out? And more important than any of this work related issues: what about you in all of this Matt?"

"I am fine."  
>"No you are not fine. Stop trying to play me. You nearly drank a bottle of vodka. I am pretty sure your hand is sprained or maybe broken. Stop telling me you are fine. We both know how much you love her."<p>

"But she couldn't take it anymore."

"I am pretty sure Peter Mills is waiting for her with arms wide open."

"Stop talking like that!" Casey yelled his body shivering out of anger, out of pure sadness and pain.

"Just pointing out what's in your mind too. She told him that it had nothing to do with your work life, that's the private life."  
>"I am trying. I really am trying to be a good fiancee, to be there for her."<p>

"Yes YOU are trying but what about her? Matt you have to stop blaming yourself for everything, you have to stop feeling guilty for everything." Severide said watching as tears where now slowly building in Matt's eyes. He knew that he had touched a very sensitive spot. Casey was used to feel guilty, he had never known anything different since the second his mother had shot his dad because he left the key on the table.

Matt slowly slid down the wall, leaning his head against it. Severide didn't hesitate for a second before sitting down beside Casey.

"The two of you will figure something out. You have been through so much together, you can find a way, you guys just need to talk."

"I don't know if we can fix this Kelly. And if I loose her..." a small sob escaped Casey's mouth.

"I can't loose her too." Matt said, speaking out the obvious.

"Than go and fight fer her. You can't just drown yourself in your own misery."

"But what if it's already too late."

"It's never too late. Not with that strong bond the two of you have. Remember the rough patch we went through? We figured it out too. Sometimes it just takes time to come clean with everything." "She is my candidate."

"I know and we will find a way to handle that. Now let me take a look at your hand. It's not looking to good."

"It's nothing."

"Yeah it's nothing and you are fine, I already know that part. Now come on." Severide said getting back to his feet before offering his hand to Matt, pulling him back to his feet.

"We will figure something out and you are not alone in this okay? I am by your side no matter what." Severide made his point clear before guiding his friend towards the kitchen table, grabbing the first aid kid from the bathroom. He would be there for Casey, every step of the way. Just like Casey had been there for him so many times during the last month. Together they would find a way to figure it out.

-THE END-

If you got a second...please leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys. I know I wanted this to be a oneshot but there where SO many things popping up in my head during my pretty restless night so I decided to continue...I know there are other stories that could need an update...

Hope you will have fun with this and please keep telling me what you think! I love your reviews!

This second chapter is based on the show but with a few changes (of course) :o)

Oh and remember, English isn't my first language so please be kind with all those mistakes, I am really giving my best here.

**Chapter 2 – Good morning Lieutenant**

"Matt you awake?" Severide asked, knocking onto Casey's door again before opening it. They needed to get to shift.

"Matt?" Severide asked again as Casey shot up in his bed, bloodshot eyes meeting him.

"Hey buddy, you have to get ready. Shift starts soon or do you want to call in sick?" Severide asked. "No." Casey answered, swinging his legs out of his bed. He had been awake for most of the night and had decided to empty the bottle of vodka completely.

As Casey got into the kitchen Severide handed him a sandwich, knowing that Casey would refuse eating. Matt tried to grab it with his right hand watching as the sandwich slowly fell to the floor, pain from his hand shooting through his arm.

"Damn it." He cursed while Severide picked the Sandwich back up from the floor.

"Sure you don't need x-rays?"

"It's just sprained."

"And you are sure it's a good idea...heading to the firehouse in your shape?"

"I will handle it." Severide just nodded before the two of them headed down to Severide's car.

Matt exhaled deeply as he spotted Dawson already heading back from the locker room.

"Good morning Lieutenant." She said, getting Casey to look back at her in disbelieve.

"Morning." He just mumbled hurrying past her, Severide following close. He didn't say a word, just watched Casey, not missing that he was fighting hard to hold back the tears that where trying to built in his eyes.

Without another word spoken Casey hurried to his office but soon recognizing that he desperately needed a coffee. He felt like crap. Grabbing the cup with his left hand he made his way into the main area and of course it was Dawson, also longing for some coffee.

"_What happened there?"_ Dawson asked pointing towards Casey's badly bruised and swollen hand. _"Got in an accident."_ He said, just like he had tried to convince Severide.

"Did you get that checked out? It doesn't look too good. Can you move it?" Dawson asked, longing to touch Casey's hand and make sure it was okay, he was okay even though she had just broke his heart.

"I will live." Casey just answered before heading back towards his office. He couldn't stand her, he couldn't be near her. How could she act like nothing had happened between them?

Sitting down on his chair heavily Casey tried to flinch his hand a few times, glad that it was responding even with a great amount of pain. At least it seemed like nothing was broken.

"Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, structure fire." The overhead paging system ripped Casey out of his thoughts unpleasantly. Structure fire...great.

Casey struggled to get his gear on before hopping into the passenger seat of the truck, the squad truck already heading onto the road.

"You okay Lieutenant?" Cruz asked, looking sideways at Casey.

"Yeah. Sprained my hand, nothing to worry about." Casey said before closing his eyes, trying to focus on the call lying ahead of them. He was in charge, he had to make decisions.

"Oh come on!" He mumbled as he jumped out of his spot facing the smoke escaping a storage unit. This couldn't be real. Storage unit where always bad.  
><em>"Cruz get the saw, everyone else silver bullets." <em>Casey said before marching into the building beside Severide. He knew that Severide was by his side, able to make decisions if he wasn't able to.

"_Spread out and find the source."_ Casey continued his command glad as Herrmann found the fire after just a few seconds.

"_Cruz get us in."_ He ordered.

Quickly exchanging a silent glance with Severide Casey stayed back while Severide observed Cruz, trying to get eyes inside the storage room.

"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" Severide interrupted Cruz while Casey started to move forward immediately.

"_Propan tank! Get back!"_ Severide yelled while they all jumped for cover, Casey not hesitating a second before shielding Dawson from the nearing explosion with his body. He could hear it go off just seconds after before turning around to check on Severide.

"_Hey this place can blow any second! Get back! All of you!"_ Severide shouted directly into Casey's direction. He knew that Casey would never leave his side.

"Everybody fall back!" Casey ordered as well before turning back to Severide.

"What about you?" He could hear Dawsons voice behind him.

"I said fall back. Now Candidate!" He yelled, needing to know she was safe. Dawson just looked at him for a second before heading towards the exit.

Grabbing the water he moved towards Severide who was still cutting his way into the storage unit while Casey got the water running.

"Fire is out." He said before turning towards his friend and fellow Lieutenant.

"I said you should fall back." Severide said receiving a shrug from Casey.

"I am not the one that needs to take orders from you." He pointed out before slapping his friend on the back.

"Good work."

"Yeah you too." 

As Casey got back to his truck Dawson was already waiting for him.

"_Hey. How did that fire start?"_ She asked.

"We will find it out later. Good work in there."

"_Thanks. See, it's much simpler isn't it? Lieutenant, Candidate, we know where we stand with each other."_ Matt just looked at her before busying himself with his gear. He couldn't believe what she was just telling him.

"_This is gonna work Matt...Lieutenant." _

"_You think so?"_ He asked before getting back into the passenger seat, walking away from her, walking away from this discussion, walking away from the fact that she had clearly made her decision. Becoming a firefighter was her top priority now.

Casey walked straight to his office shutting the door behind him. He just wanted to be alone. Why was she doing this to him? Was all of this really as easy for her as it seemed? She was still sitting in the main area, talking and laughing with the other guys while he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

"Casey you need to eat something. I know you haven't touched the sandwich this morning." Severide said as he entered his office an hour later. Casey was still sitting on his chair, starring down at the blank paper in front of him. He just couldn't concentrate on filling the report.

"I am not hungry."

"I know. Come on let's eat something."

"I told you I am not hungry."

"Listen we are facing another 18 hours on shift and I really don't need you to pass out on the next call so you will eat something or I will talk to Boden to send you home immediately." Casey just nodded knowing that Severide was completely right. Despite all his private problem there where people trusting him with his decisions.

"Grab a plate for me, I will be there in a second." Casey said before hurrying towards the bathroom, splashing some cold water into his face. He needed a way to get through this...

….to be continued!

Okay I hope you like my decision to continue :o)

And a little spoiler for the next chapter...anyone interested in getting the Season 1 finale rewritten in a completely different way :o) ;o)


	3. Chapter 3

Oh guys! Thank you so much! I love your reviews and can't thank you enough. So here is the new chapter...as promised :o)

I am quite disappointed with tonight's episode but for sure I will write something about it in this story, changing it the way I want it to be ;o)

But first off the chapter I promised...hope to read from you afterwards! This chapter is a little bit of a "filler" getting me where I want to get...so be patient

**Chapter 3 – Hellhole **

Casey entered the main area spotting his space on the top site of the table. With Severide sitting at the Squad table he was pleased to see that it was Herrman and Mouch by his side. At least there where 2 space filled with people between him and Dawson.

Casey grabbed his fork and knife only to let his knife collide with his plate seconds after he had tried to grab it with his bad hand. The loud noise getting him everyone's attention.

"Sorry." He mumbled before trying to cut his meat with just the the fork unable to grab anything with his hand aching like this.

"Lieutenant, you are sure about your hand being just sprained?" Mouch asked while Herrmann grabbed his plate without asking, getting the meat cut for Case.

"I have 5 children you know?" He said smiling before handing Casey his plate again. Casey looked up, meeting Dawson"s gaze on him before he could nearly feel her eyes on his hand, shoving it under the table immediately so she would stop looking at it. Damn hand, why was everyone so watchful and alerted because of his damn hand?

After eating his meal Casey was on his way back to his office as he could hear Gabby calling out for him. He turned around just to see that she was on his way towards him in the hallway. Severide and Mouch not to far behind her as they where heading for the locker room.

"I am worried about your hand." she said, getting Matt so swallow dryly.

"About my hand?" he just asked.

"Yeah let me take a look. Maybe if it is broken..."

"If I suppose that I need medical attention I will let Mills or Brett know about it because they are the paramedics in this house. You made your point pretty clear that I should treat you like any other candidate, that you are a normal candidate to me now...so Candidate if there is obviously nothing on your schedule at the moment why don't you start cleaning the showers?" Matt yelled, getting Mouch's and Severid's attention, as well as Herrmann's who had just arrived in the hallway too. Matt turned around without another word spoken, heading to his office, while Dawson made her way towards the showers

"He is a tough guy, he will get through this." Mouch said as he noticed the look on Severides face. "I am not to sure about that Mouch...Maybe he has finally reached the edge after everything he has been through." Severide pointed out, seeing Herrmann nod in the corner of his eyes.

Severide decided to leave Casey on his own for a while but the overhead paging system went off almost simultaneously

" Squad 3, Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61, Battalion 25, structure fire, 3015 South California Avenue." Severide widened his eyes turning towards Herrmann who was just staring back at him...Prison...

"Oh no! Come on!" Severide said before heading towards his Squad truck already feeling the adrenaline rushing through his body. Calls like that where always bad.

„_Casey built a small team together and go inside."_ Boden ordered.

"_Severide I want Squad standing by for RIT rescue."_ Boden said, getting Severide to nod before he grabbed Casey's arm for a second.

"No stunts in there you hear me?" He said getting a firm nod from Casey before slapping his back. "See you in a few." Casey said before turning towards his people.

"Cruz, Herrmann, Mouch..." Casey started to order before turning around, facing Dawson looking at him.

"Dawson I want you glued to my hip and I mean as I said. You will stay by my side or right behind me during the whole time...you hear me? I want to feel your hand on my hip!"

"Yes Lieutenant." Casey exhaled deeply. It was far to dangerous to get a woman in there but as a Candidate Dawson had to learn how to handle situations like that. Thankfully they didn't happen to often what meant that she couldn't miss this one.

"Herrmann, Mouch, Cruz we will all stay together and we will have a special eye on Dawson. There are really bad guys in there and most of them haven't seen a woman in ages, you hear me." Casey made his point clear before entering together with his man.

They had just entered the prison while the first inmates started to recognize Dawson. Whistling and making some very dirty comments.

"Dawson keep your eyes open and your back against the wall." Casey said his voice calm as ever while Dawson tried to fight back her rising adrenaline. She just nodded, feeling the wall on her left side and Casey on her right side.

"Mask up. I will get in first. Dawson right behind me, Cruz in tow. Let's go." Casey said before walking into the cell full of raging prisoners where the fire obviously got it's location.

Casey didn't hesitate for a minute before walking in, feeling Dawson's hand on his hip. He knew that they prisoners wouldn't recognize that she was a woman under the mask.

"_We need to get this guys out of here."_ Casey said towards the guard Lucci after getting a full look on the scenery.

"_I have to clear that with Master control." _

"_Than clear it."_ Casey said trying not to get to impatient. He had to stay calm and focused during this call. It was now more important then ever before.

"_Lieutenant this guy is hurt."_ He heard Cruz calling out for him

"_We gotta get this guy out, we can't wait for permission."_ Casey pointed out as he spotted the badly wounded and bleeding inmate, not trying to let this whole situation sink in. He was obviously stabbed and at least one of the inmates was armed.

"_Who started the fire?"_ Hermann yelled while Lucci told master control that they where coming out with an injured prisoner.

"_Cruz clear up that vent." _Casey ordered while Casey, Dawson and Lucci dragged the wounded prisoner out of the cell.

"Is this hallway secure?" Casey asked, getting a nod from Lucci.

"Alright then, it's all yours candidate." Casey said, knowing that the prisoner needed medical help immediately. Watching as Dawson started to work Casey made his way back into the cell.

Casey and Herrmann tried their best to get the fire under control while one of the inmates threw a mattress onto the flames, trying in vein to get it worse again.

"_Hey what's wrong with you? You want to die? Back off!" _Herrmann yelled, ripping his mask off in pure frustration.

"_Where the hell is Lucci?"_ Casey asked, turning around, trying to find the guard.

"_Okay, we are done. Let's go!"_ Casey said after fighting the flames for a few more minutes, watching as Dawson entered the cell with Lucci again.

Casey stopped in his motion as the lights went out within the blink off an eye. An alarm sending shivers over his back. They switched on their lights one by one before small emergency lights went to live in the cell again.  
><em>"Oh this ain't good..."<em> Lucci speaking out what was crossing his mind too. He could feel Dawson's hand on his hip again as she was standing right behind him again now.

"_Hey guys, what's going on with the power here? We would really like to get out of here now!"_ Lucci barked into his microphone.  
><em>"We have no way to open that door. I invite you to let yourself into the block and wait for a power reset."<br>"This way." _Lucci guided  
>"Deeper into this hellhole?" Herrmann asked, not thrilled to move further away from the exit.<p>

Severide closed his eyes as soon as he could hear the alarm coming from the building. He had listened to his instructions over the radio, not missing the tension in there.  
>"Severide, we need to find a way to get our guys out of there!" Boden yelled, gesturing for him to come over, before starting to talk the blueprints through. They needed to get Casey and the guys out of there as fast as possible.<p>

_"Okay we are not waiting any longer. Get our people out of there Lieutenant." _Boden ordered, getting Severide to jump into action, knowing that they had to get Mills, Brett and the victim out of there first before they could just think of rescuing Casey and the other guys.

Casey and his team followed Lucci, obviously surprised that a lot of inmates where running around the block, not looked into their cells.

"Hermann, we will check upstairs." Casey ordered, walking up the stairs together with Hermann and Dawson.

"_There is smoke here too. Chief, we got a second fire smoldering somewhere in the air con system. Probably an electrical fire caused by the inmates tempering with the outlet."_

_"Don't worry Herrmann, we will get out of here."_ Casey said, catching the look on his friends face before turning around, facing Dawson for the first time. She was pale and clearly scared.

"Same for you Dawson, we will get out of here in no time."

"_Hey Lucci is this some kind of maintenance access?"_ Casey said towards Lucci, catching the keys to get access hoping to find the fire quickly.

Casey opened the door before stumbling backwards as he was hit with some unexpected weight, feeling Dawson's hands on his back to stabilize him and keep him from falling. Watching in horror as the dead body of a guard crushed to the ground in front of him.  
><em>"This guy is cold."<em> Herrmann said after feeling for a pulse, while Casey turned around to Dawson, who was just starring back at him.

"_Chief we got a real bad situation in here." _Casey began, getting Severide to stop in his tracks immediately._  
>"We have an officer down, looks like his throat has been cut. He is dead. Bleed out."<em>

Casey watched as Lucci slowly approached, clearly shocked to see his college dead on the ground but not hesitating to search for Corbet's keys.

"_Hey! Hey! They got his keys!"_ Lucci screamed, getting Casey and the others to jump into action.

"_Hey! Who did this? Which one of you did this?"_ Lucci screamed before attacking one inmate after another, Casey and his people following closely.  
><em>"One the floor now. Get down on the floor now. Everybody." <em>Lucci yelled, trying to get the inmates under control. 

Severide exhaled as they where finally able to get the first door open, yelling in frustration as they where just met by a second door inches away.

"_Hey Chief we are through the first door. Maybe we should head back and start to cut our way through to Casey." _Severide said into his radio, desperate to get his best friend out of there.

"_Negative. That would take to long. You keep going. Find Mills and Brett." _Severide exhaled deeply as he heard the orders. He tried his best to focus and trust his Chief's decision even if he could hardly fight the need to get to his best friend and make sure that he was okay.

"_You are all going down for this!"_ Lucci yelled, while Casey raised his hands in the air, trying to get control over the rising tension.

"_Everybody just take it easy."_ He said but Lucci proceeded to fight his war against the inmates, punching one down.

"_Lucci!"_ Casey hissed before a small cry behind him got him to turn around immediately.

"_Nobody moves!" _one of the inmates said but the only thing Casey could focus on was the blade on Dawson's throat and her begging eyes.

….to be continued.

Okay so I changed this a bit :o) Hope you all like it. So what is our favorite Lieutenant Casey doing now?  
>Hope you get time to leave a review.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

A big THANK YOU to all of you. Now what do you think? Let's get the real chapters started...:o)

Hope to read from you after this chapter :o)

**Chapter 4 – Sacrificed**

Casey tried his best to think. He could feel his heart bumping in his chest. The adrenaline was floating his body making it hard to not just get into action before actually figuring out a plan. Casey couldn't stand Dawson's begging eyes any longer so he closed his eyes inhaling deeply even with the smoke getting thicker. He needed to calm his thoughts, making the right decision. He knew what to do he just didn't know how to convince the inmate that it was the right decision.

_"Back off! You understand me?"_ The inmate saied, getting Lucci to explode even further.  
><em>"You are going down Rios, hard!<em>" He yelled.  
><em>"Everybody just take it easy." <em>Casey called out before turning around, fully trusting Cruz with the other inmates in his back.

"Rios, did I get that right? I am Lieutenant Casey." Casey started with a calm voice, his hands up in defeat.

"Casey? What's going on in there?" He could hear Severide's voice in his ear.

-"No stunts!"- Severide's voice echoed in his ear...he had no other option right now. It was her or him. Severide would understand that.

"Get us out of here. Make a plan, talk to Herrmann." Casey whispered calmly in his radio, getting a questioning glance from Herrmann who was standing directly by his side.

"What? Why Herrmann?" Severide asked but he couldn't talk to him any longer. He needed this to work out. Fast.

"So Rios, you want a hostage? She is not the right person to take hostage." Casey continued, never breaking eye contact with the inmate. He knew that this guy was probably more than able to rape and kill someone. Maybe. He didn't know what let him into prison and in Lucci's state of mind there was no way he could figure that out right now.

"Oh I think she is the perfect hostage." Rios said, squeezing Dawson's breast with his free hand through her thick jacket, getting her to whimper silently. Casey tried his best to swallow his anger, to keep focused.

"So you want to have some sex or you want to get out of here? Because I am the one that can get you out of here, not her. It's your decision!" Casey said, praying that he would hit the right nerve. "Ah yeah right because you can get me out of here?" Rios said laughing.  
>"Maybe. If it's not me, nobody else can because I am their Lieutenant, I am in charge, this is my command." Casey continued.<br>"Yeah? What's your plan tough guy?"  
>"Take me as your hostage!"<br>"Matt no!" Dawson now said, her voice begging him to stop.  
>"Oh Matt huh? So you are the big hero here? Yeah now I get it...lovebrids, the cool Lieutenant saving his girl?" Rios continued liking his tongue over Dawson's cheek trying to get Casey to react. He failed. Casey kept his stoic face, his arms still raised.<br>"As I said Rios, it's your choice. I can be your card to get out of here. She is not. She is just a candidate. The smoke is getting thicker in here. I have my mask, I will survive."  
>"Get us out of this smoke."<p>

"I will order my man to find a way out as soon as you let my candidate go." Casey continued turning a little towards Herrmann, his eyes begging Herrmann to speak up for him, to help him save Dawson, no matter the cost.  
>"He is right. He is the only one that can get us out of here." Herrmann said, swallowing bitterly.<p>

"Oh lady, it would be nice getting you all hot and sweaty but your hero has some good arguments." Rios said.

Dawson's eyes where not leaving Casey and a tearful "no!" escaped her lips as Casey laid his helmet on the floor before walking over to them.

"I take that as a yes." he said.

Rios shoved Dawson forward, getting her to crash into Herrmann's waiting arms, while Casey was willingly letting Rios whirl him around. He could feel the sharp blade of the knife on his neck just seconds later. His eyes searched for Dawson's, finding tears glancing in her eyes.

"It's okay." Casey said getting Rios to shove him back a little further.

"So let's prove how heroic you really are." Rios said while Casey closed his eyes and bit his teeth as he could feel the sharp blade cutting into his neck, the warm and thick liquid of blood running down the side of his neck just seconds after.

"No!" Dawson screamed, while Herrmann held her firmly in place.

"Just a test here. No need to freak out lady!" Rios said. 

"Casey? You copy? Casey!" Herrmann could hear Severide's frantic voice over his radio.

"Guys what the hell is going on in there?" Severide asked, followed by Boden, asking for an update.  
>"Casey sacrificed himself for Dawson. Some psycho has a knife on his throat. He is bleeding from a cut on his neck." Herrmann said, getting Severide to throw his gloves away.<p>

"Damn it Casey!" He yelled, his radio still on so everyone could hear it.

"I am sorry!" Casey said out loud, knowing that Severide would hear him.

Severide stopped in his tracks, trying to focus. Casey would not say his goodbyes to him. He had to get them out of there!

Casey slowly opened his eyes, meeting Gabby's eyes again. She had calmed down now, trying to make out a plan as well.

"Alright guys. We should all calm down now and head towards the chapel. Smoke shouldn't be so thick in there." Casey said. He had talked this plan through with Lucci just before he had offered himself as a hostage.  
>Lucci nodded before they made their way to the chapel painfully slow with all inmates in tow.<p>

_"Okay? Smoke is not so bad in here. Let's talk. Now!_ Let the Lieutenant go." Herrmann said.  
><em>"Ah ah!"<em> was the quick answer of Rios, pressing Casey even harder towards his chest, the blade of the knife cutting into the flesh on his neck again.

"_What do you want huh?" _Herrmann asked, pure frustration now taking over. They needed to figure something out. Fast.

_"We want him!_" Rios now said, pointing at Lucci, getting Herrmann to turn around facing Lucci before looking back at Casey.  
>Casey was trying to figure out a way too but with the knife on his neck and the unstoppable adrenalin it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. And still there where Gabby's eyes never leaving his.<p>

"_We are going down so I can finish what I started."_ Rios said getting Casey to speak up again.

"I thought you wanted me to figure out a plan how to get out of here." He said.

"Yeah genius. But before we will try to get out of here I can finish what I started, just as I said. He tortured us for years now, treating us like the last pieces of garbage. I have nothing to loose. I will die in here. If not today than during the next 40 years so why not finish up my business and then make one last attempt to see the world outside again?"

"_I am not handing someone over so you could kill 'em!"_ Casey said, making his point perfectly clear.

"Then you will go down with me." Rios said getting Dawson to close her eyes. This man had nothing to loose. If Casey wouldn't hold his promise to help him getting out of there, which surely was impossible, than Rios would not hesitate to kill him.

-"Casey just sacrificed himself for Dawson!"- Herrmann's words echoed in her ears. This could not be happening. This couldn't end like this!

"_Huh, huh, huh!"_ Rios said, shoving Casey further to his body.

"_Ey yo, Mister Fireman! You want a trade or what?"_ Rios asked, while Casey couldn't hold back a small groan. The pain in his neck was increasing as was the pain in his whole body while Rios was holding him so tight in such an unnatural position. Sweat was running down his face unstoppable.

"_Huh?"_ Rios asked again, pressing the knife further into Casey's neck, cutting him again just to make his point perfectly clear. Casey let out a yell of pain, not able to hold it back anymore.

Herrmann turned around angrily grabbing Lucci. They needed a plan, right now. There was no time for further discussions. It was just a matter of time until Rios would loose it and kill Casey in front of their eyes.

"_How do you reason with this guys?"_

"_Reason with them? They are animals. They just don't like their zoo keeper." _Lucci pointed out, leaving Herrmann speechless.

"Herrmann, the power reset is gonna take a minute but Otis has his instructions." Severide said through the radio waiting desperately on an update for Casey.

"Thanks." Herrmann just said and Severide bite his lip to not ask any further questions. He could imagine that Herrmann had more on his schedule right now than to ease his mind.

"_Hey Severide? You still in the basement? See if you can locate the supply conduit for block 4."_ Herrmann said slowly figuring out a plan.  
><em>"You got it." <em>Severide shot back immediately beginning to search.

"_You? What are you talking about with them?"_ Rios now asked, making his point clear by pressing the knife hard against Casey's neck again.

"_We still have a fire burning inside the vent systems somewhere. I am trying to put it out before the smoke kills all of us. What do you think?"_ Herrmann shot back not to friendly trying to get Rios mind as far away from the plan building up in his mind as possible.

Herrmanns eyes slowly setting onto the small office. It was so near, they just needed a way to get Casey over there.

Herrmann tried his best to make eye contact with Casey who was just focused on Dawson, his eyes never leaving her gaze since the last time the knife had cut into his neck without mercy.

"Dawson. See that little office on your right side? Try to tell Casey that this is our escape plan." Herrmann whispered, getting Dawson to just nod, not giving away her thoughts, her fear, her surprise about this plan.

She made eye contact with Casey again, his eyes giving away the panic he was feeling. Dawson slowly gestured to her right side, her eyes leading towards the small door on the right. She could see that Casey's eyes where following her, blinking one time to tell her that he understood.

Herrmann had seen it too, now making his way towards Rios, hoping and praying that he wouldn't jeopardize Casey's life any further.

"Come on Rios, what's your plan huh?" Herrmann asked, walking directly towards Rios.  
>"Back off!" He yelled in return, pushing Casey backwards, the knife still on his neck.<p>

"We need a plan right now and you are more than welcome to give some input or let my Lieutenant go so we could figure out a way together how to get out of here." Herrmann continued still proceeding to move forward.

"I said back off man!" Rios yelled, getting the knife away from Casey's neck and pointing it towards Herrmann. 

Casey didn't hesitate a second before he swung his arm backwards, punching Rios in the gut. But Rios got hold on him again, the knife meeting up with Casey's throat again. Herrmann now near enough throw a punch towards Rios too, before grabbing onto Casey's doubled over form dragging him to the office with him.

Casey pressed his hand against his throat, feeling the thick liquid running over his fingers. He knew that he had to run, that there was no time to pay any attention to his wound.

He stumbled into the office, collapsing onto the floor immediately while Herrmann, Lucci, Cruz and Mouch blocked the door with all their power left.

"Matt you okay?" Dawson asked, kneeling down beside Casey who slowly looked up at her, not blocking her view on the blood running down his fingers anymore.

"Oh no, no, no, no!" Dawson said, her eyes widening in pure horror. Herrmann just turned around a little closing his eyes as he could see the reason for Dawson's outburst. Casey was wounded badly and he maneuvered them into this tiny little place without any way to escape.

"Come on Matt, stay calm. Everything is going to be alright. I want you to lay down, okay? We will get that bleeding under control you hear me?" Gabby said trying to act as calm as possible while blood was now dripping onto the floor. She had learned that in all her years as a paramedic. She helped Casey settle down on the floor, getting her coat off immediately to stabilize Casey's head.  
>"Don't try to speak, just blink with your eyes okay? Can you breath properly?" Matt blinked once. Yes.<p>

"Can you swallow probably?"

Two blinks. No.

"Too much blood, I know." Dawson said, her eyes searching the room frantically not believing as she spotted a first aid kid just inches away from her.

"Oh thank god!" She said, hurrying towards it.

"Severide? You find that supply line?" Herrmann asked before taking a breath.

"We made it into the small office of the chapel but Casey is hurt badly. Rios managed to cut his throat. He is still responsive but loosing a lot of blood. Dawson is working on him now but we need to find a quick way out of here." Herrmann said, getting Severide to stop in his motions, grabbing onto a near by wall for support.

-"Rios managed to cut his throat." Herrmann's words slowly started to sink in.

….to be continued!


	5. Chapter 5

Hello everyone!

Thanks to all of you for your reviews! I waited to get the 10th review to update I have to admit :o) But now it's there and so is the new chapter. I really hope you keep the reviews coming,. It means so much to me and I love reading all of them. Thanks guys!

And now have fun with the new chapter.

**Chapter 5 - Hurry **

"Severide, you copy?"

"Yeah, yeah...I..." Severide took a deep breath before speaking up again.

"Yeah we found the fire, putting it out yet."  
>"No not yet!" Herrmann yelled into his radio. We need the smoke!" He pointed out before turning around to face Casey.<p>

Dawson knelled down beside Casey again, unpacking the first aid kid quickly.

"Okay, remove your hand from your wound slowly okay? Let me see how bad it is." Dawson said gently brushing Casey's hair before giving him a reassuring nod but Casey didn't move his hand, not an inch.

"Matt? You hear me? I need you to get your hand away so I can see your wound." Dawson said again, now spotting the frightened and horrified look on Casey's face.

"Trust me!" She said getting Casey to blink once before he removed his hand, giving away the damage the knife had done to his throat.

Dawson's hands moved quickly getting some gauze onto the wound.

"It's not that bad, you hear me? There is no arterial bleeding, you are just loosing blood from the wound. It's going to be okay!" She said, getting Casey to blink once before he grabbed her free hand.

"Shhhh...you are going to be okay." Gabby said trying to calm Matt down while tears where starting to built up in her eyes now.

"Dawson is Casey able to move?" Herrmann asked receiving a head shake from Dawson.

"We can't move him an inch. He is loosing a lot of blood and we can't risk getting the cut on his throat any deeper. All I can say is that we need a plan and fast. I can't slow the bleeding down and I don't know how much damage is done." Dawson pointed out before looking back at Casey again. A small puddle of blood was surrounding his weak frame now.

"Severide you heard Dawson? We will be able to get the inmates down with the smoke but we can't make our escape on our own." Herrmann said.

"Leave me here." Casey said, his voice raw, not near his normal voice.

"Shhhh. Don't even think about that!" Dawson said.

"We will not leave anybody behind!" Herrmann said without any room for discussions.

"Alright we figured it out here. As soon as the power is back on the whole Chapel should be filled with smoke. The SWAT Team is going to make their entrance as soon as the power is back up. We will follow in tow and get you guys out of there." Severide said getting Herrmann to nod.

"Alright than get this party started." He said turning around to Casey and Dawson.

"Get the masks ready." He said slowly recognizing that Casey had dropped his gear before he turned himself in as a hostage.

"We will share mine." Dawson said getting her mask ready. Casey wanted to protest, wanted to say that she should mask up, that she should save the oxygen but slow light dots where starting to dance around in front of his eyes while he could feel his whole body getting heavier and heavier with every second. His limps felt funny and he could feel the darkness longing for him. He closed his eyes, just to feel Gabby's hands on his cheeks again, begging him to stay with her, begging him to look at her. Casey tried hard but the darkness was to strong and so his world went completely black, Gabby's face right in front of his eyes the last thing he had seen.

"Matt no! No! Come on. Stay with me!" Gabby screamed, slapping Matt's cheeks.

"We are just seconds away." She could hear Herrmann before she could hear Severide's voice over the radio.

"Dawson?" He asked, his voice giving away the same panic she was feeling right now.

"He passed out Kelly, you guys really need to hurry. He has lost a lot of blood!" She said feeling Matt's pulse again. It was becoming faster and faster.

"Damn it, he's going into shock." Dawson said before grabbing the chair out of the corner, getting Matt's legs up.

"Severide hurry!"

"Vents are back on!" She heard Severide's voice over the radio before putting the mask onto Casey's face as the smoke became thicker within seconds.  
>"Dawson talk to me."<br>"He's in shock. It's serious Severide. You need to hurry!"  
>"Damn it. Hang tight Matt!" Severide said out loud.<p>

"Help is on the way Matt!" She whispered. It didn't take long until she could hear voices outside. It was the SWAT Team handling the inmates but just seconds after Herrmann opened the door and Severide busted into the room looking down in horror as he spotted his fallen friend and fellow Lieutenant on the floor.

"Hurry." Dawson said, not giving Severide any time to let it sink in. He got the backboard onto the floor, slowly transferring Casey onto it with Cruz's help before making their way out into freedom after what felt like an eternity.

They brought Casey directly to the waiting ambulance, Dawson and Severide both riding along with him without any questions asked. While Severide was riding up front Dawson closed her eyes as the paramedic finally got Casey onto the monitor which was now showing his vitals. He needed a blood donation and fast. Even with the extra fluids now running into his veins his vitals where still dangerously low.

As soon as they arrived in the ER Casey was brought straight into the Trauma room, leaving Dawson and Severide behind.

"What the hell happened in there?" Severide asked now turning around to Dawson.

"You know exactly what happened."

"Damn." Severide cursed starting to move up and down, impatiently. The ER doors opened again giving way for the whole team of Truck 81 and the Squad members.

"Any news?" Boden asked immediately.

"His vitals where pretty unstable during the ride here, he has lost a lot of blood and went into shock. He was able to talk, to swallow, to move all his limps so I think he is going to be okay after a blood transfusion and a few hours of rest." Dawson said hoping that she would be right.

It took the doctors about two hours until Dr. Friedman finally showed up calling for the members of 51.

"Lieutenant Casey lost a lot of blood. We got him hooked to blood transfusions and his body is reacting good but still he has not regained consciousness. The cut itself punctured his vocal cords but we are sure they will heal well. His voice could be raw or a little off for a few weeks but we are sure it won't be a major problem. We are keeping Lieutenant Casey in ICU over night so we can monitor him better. Two of you are allowed to see him now." The doctor filled them in on Matt's condition.

Severide was on his heels in an instant, turning around to face Dawson who was still standing against the wall, not following him.

"Dawson, you coming?" Severide asked, receiving a headshake.

"Doc wait a second." Severide said before marching over towards Dawson.

"What the hell is going on with you?" He asked, his temper rising. He had been through hell and back today and he just couldn't handle her behavior just a second longer.

"I am the last person Matt want's to see when he wakes up."

"Bullshit and you know that!" Severide pointed out.

"No I don't know that."

"Do whatever you think it's best for YOU Dawson." Severide said pointing his index finger in her direction before following the doctor. Whatever was going on with Casey and Dawson they surely needed to talk.

It took Casey about two hours until he opened his eyes again, slowly taking in his surroundings before looking up at Severide, who was near his face now.

"Hey! Are you back in the land of the living?" He asked, getting Casey to nod but grimace in pain due to this sudden movement. His throat, his neck, everything around this area was killing him. The hostage situation, the knife.

"Is everyone..." Matt started his voice raw and not more than a whisper.

"Hey, easy there. Everyone is fine."

"Dawson?"

"She is fine too." Severide said getting Casey to close his eyes for a second, out of relieve and out of pure frustration. She was fine but she wasn't by his side...

"I will let the doctor know that you are back." Severide said before Casey got a complete checkup from the doctor again.  
>"I told him he is not allowed to speak for the next 48 hours so we can give his vocal cords some time to heal. His vitals are okay but they could be better so we will keep him in ICU until further notice."<p>

"What do you mean they could be better? Anything I need to worry about? He is going to be alright, right doc?" Severide asked worried.

"We will keep him monitored." was all the doctor said.

As Severide made his way back inside Matt's room Casey had already fallen asleep again. Severide got his chair next to Casey's side again, resting his head against it for a few seconds before watching the monitor.

-"His vitals could be better...until further notice...we will keep him monitored"-


	6. Chapter 6

Wow guys? What else can I say. THANK YOU!

Here is the new chapter already as you all made me so happy with all of your reviews. This story is really special to me so thank you and of course keep them coming!

To all of you that are waiting for Dawson...she will be there but not right now. I got other plans in my mind as you may know :o) So just be patient and give me a while, it's all planed out in my head :o)

**Chapter 6 - Lieutenant**

The words of the doctor echoed through his head. If Dawson would be here by now she could tell him what the doctor meant, she could watch Casey closely, tell him if there was any change. For him there where just some numbers on the monitor. Nothing he could be worried about. Okay, he had to admit that Casey's blood pressure was to low but due to the fact that he still got blood running back into his system from the transfusion made this logical to him.

Severide jumped as a nurse entered Matt's room about 6 hours later, watching the monitor again and making some notes on a chart.

"He still hasn't woken up again." Severide pointed out worried.

"He is resting, that's important after everything his body has been through today."

"Is there a change in his vitals? The doctor told me that they could be better but didn't explain that any further."

"Oh yes I can assure you they are stable now and it's all looking good. It's Doctor Friedmann's decision but I think he should be transferred to the normal station soon."

"Thank you." Severide said breathing out in relief. The doctor had really left him worried all those hours ago.

Two hours after the nurse had left Casey finally started to move in his bed, before opening his eyes, taking in his surroundings with a puzzled look before it all got back to him.

"Hey good morning sleeping beauty. I thought you would sleep forever." Severide said getting a weak smile from Matt.

Severide filled him in about what the doctor and the nurse had told him earlier watching Casey close his eyes once. It was a bad situation for him now. Not able to move his head due to the thick bandage and the pain it would cause him and not allowed to speak.

"Hey the good news is you got only 38 hours left until you can fill me into your thoughts again." Severide joked receiving a tired smile from Casey. Even if the nurse had said he was improving Severide didn't miss the fact that he looked beyond ill right now. His eyes where just dark shadows in his pale face, the circles under his eyes making him look like he hadn't sleep for days. Maybe it was just the fact that he couldn't talk, couldn't make a joke, couldn't tell him that he was fine but everything on Casey seemed different right now.

Depressed. 

"Guys say their hello. They will all stop by visiting later. Herrmann just called in and asked if you are allowed to grab some food. You know Cindy. She couldn't stand the fact of you having to eat hospital food." Severide continued, now getting a smile onto Matt's face. Matt moved his hand searching for the hand control before getting his bed a little upright so Severide didn't have to lean over his face the whole time. Sitting up a little made it easier to communicate just with his eyes. Matt gestured for something to write, receiving a questioning look from Severide. He showed it again before Severide nodded and handed Matt a pan and a paper.

"Here you go." He said, watching as Matt wrote something down.  
>"When can I get out of here."<p>

"I don't have the slightest idea. You got me pretty worried overnight. Doctor said your vitals could get better and you need to be monitored until further notice. A nurse told me your vitals where stable now and you should be able to get to the normal station soon. And I have no idea when you can leave completely. I think not until you are allowed to talk again. I am pretty sure they will be running some more test than." Severide said getting Casey to close his eyes. Severide just patted his arm in a reassuring way, knowing that Casey just wanted to get out of here.

"Have a little patients and think about the fact that it could have been much worse."

"No visitors." Casey wrote down, getting Severide to furrow his brows.

"The guys just want to make sure you are okay. You know they are all out there waiting for news on you." Severide said.

"I can't talk so I really don't like to just lay here, grinning stupidly without talking." Casey wrote down.

"Alright. I will head out telling them you are awake and better okay?" Casey just nodded closing his eyes again. Severide closed the door behind him, exhaling deeply. He had noticed it from the second Casey had woken up, something had changed even if he couldn't tell what exactly was going on.

"There is Severide." Herrmann pointed out, getting to his feet immediately.

"How is he?" Boden asked. Severide had given them his last update all those hours ago after the doctor had told him about Casey's vitals and the need to monitor him further.

"I haven't spoken to the doctor now but a nurse said that his vitals are doing better. He is already getting impatient, you all know him." Severide said, laying his eyes on Dawson who was sitting right next to Mills. How Casey would have hated that fact.

"He says his greetings but he asked me to tell you that he wants no visitors until he is allowed to talk again."

"Understandable." Herrmann said nodding while Severide made eye contact with Dawson again, recognizing that she seemed a little relieved.

"Alright. I will head back inside."

"Did you ask Casey about the food? Herrmann asked."

"Oh yeah right. I haven't talked to the doctor yet Casey would of course love it but I am not sure if he is allowed to eat. I will give you a call." Severide said waiting as Dawson called out for him.

"I will grab some clothes and leave them at the nurses station later today, okay?" She asked, getting Severide to grab her arm and drag her away of the group a little further.

"He sacrificed himself for you. At least you could show him a little bit of..." Severide started but was interrupted by Dawson.

"I know what he did okay? Kelly it's complicated."

"Damn he loves you Dawson, he would have given his life for you and you know that. He is really not doing good. You guys need to talk."

"Kelly he agreed that it was best for me to leave."

"Oh come on Dawson. I really thought you would know him better!" Severide just said before getting back into ICU where he found Matt asleep in his bed again. It took a while until the doctor showed up, noting Matt's vitals again.

"Doc how is he?"

"Better but still far away from being transferred to the normal station."

"What?" Severide asked shocked.

"His blood pressure is too low as all his vitals are."

"Why don't you give him some medication or maybe he needs more blood?"

"Lieutenant Severide I want to be honest with you. It's not a medical problem we are facing here. Lieutenant Casey has been through a lot. Both physically and psychological. His body may just need a bit more time to rest up from all this stress." 

_And his inner demons _Severide thought to himself watching Casey's vulnerable frame for a second. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just give him some more time. If we can't get him to a normal station tomorrow we might have to consider other ways but until then just let him relax and give him some more time."

"Thanks doc. Oh by the way, is he allowed to grab some food? The guys are still waiting outside and one of the wife's would love to bring him something to eat."

"Yes he is allowed but nothing too hot and nothing that could get stuck in his throat. With his wounds it would be a really bad idea to give him a coughing fit." The doctor said while Severide headed back outside again.

"What did the doctor say?" Boden asked after getting back up again.

"They want to keep him in ICU. His vitals are not improving."

"What?" Cruz now asked.

"Doctor said he needs some more time to rest up. His body has been through a lot." Severide said, skipping the psychological part.

"And Herrmann you can call Cindy and tell her that she can get some food ready. I think a soup would be best."

"Alright. I will call her now."

"And guys please head home. We are just waiting here that Casey's vitals are improving."

"You should get home too, get a shower and grab some fresh cloths. I will sit with Casey for a while until you are back." Herrmann offered, getting Severide to shook his head.

"I am fine. Got a comfortable chair inside." He said, not wanting to leave Casey's side for just a second.

Matt slept most of the day and when he wasn't sleeping they watched a little TV as talking was quite complicated at the moment.

Severide watched as Matt drifted off to sleep again, getting his blanket a little higher before sitting down in his chair again, falling asleep almost immediately..

Due to their relief Casey was transferred to the normal station the following day. Still the doctor wasn't completely satisfied with his vitals but they where good enough to get Casey transferred. Finally.

"Okay Mister Casey, now we will get some scan's done to see how your vocal cords are doing. After that I will tell you if you are allowed to talk again." The doctor said as he got into the room. Matt swung his legs out of the bed, while Severide was ready to grab him if necessary. Matt swayed a little to the side, feeling strong arms grabbing onto his shaking frame.

"Alright. Sit down for a minute. It seems like your blood pressure is not agreeing with our plans here." The doctor said watching as Severide gently lowered Matt down onto the bed. It took him a few more seconds until he nodded just a tiny bit but enough for Severide to see it, reassuring that he was okay now.

"Will you give your friend a hand or should I get a wheelchair. It's just two rooms from here."

"I got him." Severide said, grabbing onto Casey's arm who just shot him a look.

"I know but better than getting a wheelchair, right?" Severide said, receiving a friendly smile from Matt. They had really improved in talking while not talking.

"I can't wait until you are cleared to talk again. I feel like a schizophrenic from time to time." Severide said getting Casey to chuckle lightly. Severide exhaled a little. Finally after all those dark hours.

"I can assure you it all looks good. They are healing probably. Why don't you try and say something?"

"Like what?" Casey said, his voice cracking.

"That was a good start. Your voice will come and go for a while, maybe you will suffer some hoarseness or a sting in your vocal cords when you talk but that's a normal sign and you don't need to worry. You should not overdue yourself and if you feel any pain just rest up alright?"

"How long until it will be back to normal?" Casey said, his voice miles away from his normal voice. Even Severide had trouble to understand him.

"Give them some time. I think in a few weeks you should be back to normal."

"Am I cleared for duty?"

"We will have to give that cut a look tomorrow and then we will decide further."

"Can I call they guys now? They are calling and texting all the time as you may have noticed." "Call them. And tell them to bring a burger. I am starving."

"You are not allowed to..."

"I know but some more of Cindy's soup would be fine to me too."

"I think we can handle that."

Severide exhaled in relief as Boden, Herrmann, Mouch and Cruz where the first members of the firehouse visiting Matt. Finally seeing him smile, talk and laugh again made him more than happy. He could see Casey's face drop immediately as Dawson walked into the room. The uneasy feeling rising as she greeted Matt with "Lieutenant." Severide had to hold himself back to not drag her out of the room and talk some sense into her. He knew that it was Matt's part to talk to her but they where both to stubborn to start.

"How are you doing?"

"Feeling better thanks." Casey said shortly.

"So have you watched the game or did you miss it in your drugged out stage?" Herrmann asked, trying to break the tension in the room. He succeeded even if Severide could see that Casey was just playing the "good mood part" now.

….to be continued!


	7. Chapter 7

Okay so I figured as the comments where coming in slower and I got a lot of Dawsey questions that you guys really want to have some Dawsey RIGHT NOW and not wait any longer...did I get that right? So I thought about it and figured out a way to get you some Dawsey without interrupting the storyline that's so nicely placed in my head ;o) Hope you have fun with this chapter and of course I hope to read from all of you :o)

**Chapter 7 - Hey**

"You know that you need to talk to her, right?" Severide asked after the firehouse crew had finally left.

"I know but it's complicated."

"Yeah she keeps telling me the same. You are both complicated but one of you has to start."

"Can we talk about that later?" Casey asked, getting Severide to look at him closely.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah just...I am tired." Casey admitted leaning back in his bed now. His voice had getting weaker and weaker and now it was just a whisper left.

"Okay. Rest up." Severide said before getting back into the chair beside Casey's bed.

"Sev, go home. Really. I am fine and you really need to rest too!" Casey pointed out.

"Ah I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Really?" Casey said giving Severide a look and they both had to laugh.

"Okay maybe you got a point with that."

"Go home. I promise I will let you know if I need anything or get board, okay?"

"You promise?"

"Of course."

As Severide got back to the hospital the next morning Casey was sitting in his bed, a magazine in his hands.

"So you are not board at all, right?" Severide said joking as he spotted the woman's magazine in Casey's hand.

"It's driving me..." Casey started but he had to stop as his voice trailed of completely.

"...crazy in here. Yeah I know. Glad your old friend Severide is here to get you all entertained." Severide filled his sentence.

"Mister Casey?" A voice interrupted their chat getting Severide to turn around to face Dr. Friedmann.

"I want to look at the wound on your neck to give you a proper update when we can release you and of course when you can get back to full duty."

Casey sat up completely in his bed while Dr. Friedmann and a nurse slowly got the thick bandage away from his throat.

Severide was standing directly near Casey, just in case his friend would need anything.

"Can you lean your head back a little? Slow and careful. It's going to hurt." Casey got his head back slowly while he could feel Severide's eyes on his face, searching for any kind of pain.

"Oh yes, it's healing really really good here. How is the pain?"

"Okay." Casey said not lying. He really felt okay.  
>"You can lower your head again." Dr. Friedmann ordered.<p>

"So I want to be honest. It's like a small cut in a finger that always opens up when you move it and takes ages to heal. Same goes to that wound as you are normally constantly moving your head. We got this thick bandage around and I can just imagine the pain in your neck and your shoulders right now."

"Yes it's bad." Casey admitted feeling Severide's gaze on him. He had never told him that he was in pain constantly.

"I will just get some patches and then we will get a neck brace to get the pressure away from the wound and immobilize your head for a while longer. It's not going to be easy with your neck and your shoulders but it's the best we can do to get your wound to heal fast."

"When can I get out of here?" Casey asked, really not looking forward to the neck brace.

"Do you have someone around constantly?"

"Yeah me." Severide jumped in immediately.

"Then you can go home today after we get the neck brace on you and patched you up completely."

"Today?" Casey asked, his face lightening up immediately.

"Yes. And I think you should be back on full duty about two weeks from now. It's just the cut that needs some more healing but it's really looking good."

With the neck brace around his neck Casey was glad as he could finally sit down on his own couch as soon as they entered the apartment. His eyes fell on the pictures of Dawson and him, on their things...

Severide noticed the change in Casey's mood immediately.

"Why don't you give her a call and tell her you are home?"

"Because this was all her decision. She could have visited me in the hospital, we could have talked...She made her decision Kelly."

"You think so? I am pretty sure she is waiting for you to give her a call."

"Can we talk about that later?"

"You keep asking me that a lot when the subject comes to Dawson."

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it."

"But it's slowly eating you up from the inside Matt. I am not to blind to see that."

"Yeah whatever. We got a beer here? Could use one to celebrate coming home after getting my throat cut."

"Pretty sure about that."

Severide raised his eyebrows before hurrying towards Matt as he spotted him getting out of his living room with blankets and pillows on his arms.

"Hey. Let me take this. What are you doing?" He asked, taking the blankets and pillows out of Matt's struggling arms.

"I just...I can't sleep in there."

"So you decided to sleep on the couch? You are seriously injured...can I just remind you of that little fact?"

"I can't sleep in there." Casey said again.

"Fine than take my bed or better YOUR bed as it's still your guestroom."

"Couch is fine."

"No! Couch is not fine. Don't be so stubborn." Casey exhaled deeply following Severide into the guestroom.  
>"You want to sleep like that?" Severide asked after walking into the room to get some of belongings.<p>

"It's pretty hard to get changed with this thing on. I can barely move." Casey admitted, laying down fully dressed.

"Oh come on. You can not sleep in that shirt and with jeans on. I will give you a hand." Severide said moving towards Casey.

"You don't need to do that."

"I know but that's what friends are for right? Okay we will start with the pants. I will just get it out of your room." Severide said returning just seconds after. He helped Casey change his trousers before making eye contact again.

"Okay I will get that neck brace away now. Don't move your head. I will do all the work just hold it perfectly still. I don't need you bleeding out on me alright?"

"Okay." Casey said trying his best not to move. Severide worked quickly and carefully and soon he was dressed in a T-Shirt, the neck brace perfectly in place again.

"So how did we do that huh?" Severide said smiling like a little child on Christmas eve.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

"No I really mean it Kelly. Thank you for everything you are doing for me."

"I am glad I can pay you back a bit." Severide said before slapping Casey's back lightly but receiving a wince from his friend.  
>"How bad is the pain?" He asked immediately.<p>

"Bad."Casey answered truthfully.

"Anything I can do about it?"

"No. But I think it's a good idea to stay in this bed."

"Yeah I think it is."

"See you tomorrow."

"Alright. If you need anything just call. I will be here in an instant."

"Thanks."

As Matt woke up the next morning he had problems to focus on his surroundings, feeling that his blood pressure was way to low. He sat up in his bed and tried to ignore the lack of sleep he had gotten due to the undeniable pain in his shoulders and his neck. He tried to stretch himself a bit, failing miserably.

Slowly he hung his legs out of the bed, waiting for his blood pressure to stabilize so he could make his way to the kitchen without breaking down. He knew that he should call for Kelly but he was pretty sure that he was out for his morning run at this time of the day.

Matt climbed out of his bed slowly, carefully paying attention to the signals his body was sending him. Small sparks began to dance in front of his eyes so he sat back down onto the bed, cursing. His arms felt heavy, almost as if they wouldn't belong to his body anymore and still his vision was dizzy. The doctor had told him that it could happen that he would probably feel dizzy as a reaction from his body to the blood loss and as a reaction of his head being immobilized for such a long period of time.

He could hear someone in the living room and didn't hesitate to call out for Kelly. He knew that he would probably double over when he tried to get up again. He just felt miserable.

"Kelly!" Matt called again while the door opened slowly.

"It's me." He could hear Gabby's voice before he could see her.

"Kelly is out for his run I think. I heard you call, you okay?" Gabby asked taking in the image of her Lieutenant, of her fiancee. Matt tried desperately to think but he couldn't shake her off and keep sitting here until Severide would return.  
>"No." He said truthfully while Gabby now got into the room.<p>

"You look pale." She said, her hand reaching out to touch his face but stopping halfway, lowering it again.

"Got into trouble with my blood pressure." Matt said, squeezing his eyes shot as another wave of dizziness hit him.

"Hey, keep looking at me." Gabby said now grabbing Matt's arm.

"Come on, lay back down slowly. I will get our first aid kid and take your blood pressure, okay?" Gabby said before helping Matt to lay back down.  
>She returned just seconds after with their first aid kid.<p>

"You still with me?" She asked, getting Matt to open his eyes.

"Yeah." Gabby took his blood pressure looking down at the numbers the monitor was showing her before touching Matt's wrist, searching for a pulse.

"It's not your blood pressure. It's stable." Gabby said before touching Matt's forehead. He was covered in cold sweat but she couldn't find any signs of a fever.  
>"Are you in pain?" She asked trying to find out what was going on with Matt.<p>

"I can't move with this damn neck brace." He said.

"Can you get back up for me?" She asked, helping Matt to sit back up. Dizzy spots where immediately starting to dance in front of his eyes.

"Matt? Keep talking to me." Gabby said, listening as Matt mumbled something she couldn't understand. She touched his shoulders, getting him to wince. They where hard like stones.

"Your muscles are sore. Wait a second." She said before hurrying outside of the room, grabbing a chair from the kitchen and placing it in front of a wall in the guest room before getting back to Casey's side.

"Come on I will help you back up slowly." She helped Matt to his feet who was holding onto her to not collide to the floor.

"I got you. I got you." She said pressing against him with her whole body.

"Keep talking to me." She begged.

"I'm good." Matt said after a few seconds and Gabby could feel that he was holding himself upright again. She guided him towards the nearby wall, placing him onto the chair and leaning him with his head against the wall.

"I want you to press your head against the wall, I will get that neck brace off of you but I need you not to move."

"Do it." He said while he could feel Gabby removing the neck brace.

"Do not move even if it's painful, you hear me?" Gabby said, brushing her hand over Matt's neck, getting him to nearly scream.

He was clearly in a lot of pain and Gabby exhaled deeply, trying to think what was going on with Matt.

….to be continued!

So I hope you like this little idea :o)


	8. Chapter 8

Guys you seriously overwhelmed me with your awesome reviews. Thank you so much! I know it took a while for the next chapter. Ideas are not bubbling out of my head as I would want them to at the moment. Hope you will have fun with this one.

**Chapter 8 - Pressure**

"I think you got a pinched nerve that's causing you to feel dizzy now." Dawson said after examine Casey.

"Than get it back in." Casey breathed through gritted teeth.

"You know that I can't do that and with your wound there is nothing I can do about it at all. We will have to call an ambulance and get you to a doctor."

"No. I just got home yesterday."

"I know but there is nothing we can do about it." Gabby said getting the neck brace back around Casey's neck.

"I will call for an ambulance now."

"No! We will wait for Severide, he can give me a ride."

"Matt you are not going to reach the car on your own, you know that, right?" Gabby said receiving a frustrated and angry grunt from Casey. His head was still leaning against the wall, getting some pressure off of his neck and shoulders. He definitely felt better in this position. Matt could hear Gabby calling for an ambulance. Her hands immediately met his back as she returned touching him softly.

"Ambulance is on the way."

"Do you think I need to stay there today?"

"I don't know but there is a good chance you can go home today if it's really just a pinched nerve ."  
>Matt could feel Gabby's hand moving small circles on his back, trying to calm him down. How much he hated hospitals.<p>

Severide just rounded the corner as he spotted the ambulance in front of the apartment, panic starting to rise immediately. Matt! He started to run into the house, trying to calm himself down as he found the door to their apartment wide open.

"Matt!" He called out in sheer panic running into the guest room where the two paramedics where just getting ready to transfer Casey towards the waiting ambulance.

"Matt. Dawson, what happened?" He asked spotting Dawson with questioning eyes, his heart hammering in his chest.

"I am alright. Just dizzy." Matt said, feeling Severide's hand on his shoulder now.

"I think he pulled something in his neck that causes the dizziness. Blood pressure is okay but he wouldn't have made it towards the car in his condition."  
>"Are you riding with him? I will get changed and follow quickly." Severide asked, receiving a nod from Dawson.<p>

Casey watched as Dawson hopped into the ambulance beside him, looking down at him with her beautiful eyes. He had never felt so uneasy before around her and he knew that she was feeling it too. Casey inhaled a little but regretting it immediately as a wave of dizziness hit him again. He wanted to talk to her but right here and right now wasn't the right place or the right time.

"Matt?" She asked, as he closed his eyes, getting him to look back at her.

"Just dizzy."

"I really think you pinched that nerve during the hostage situation and with the doctor getting you from the thick bandage to the neck brace it could have gotten worse. It would be normal if you would feel a little sore but your shoulders are hard like stones. I think you will need some physiotherapy and massages to get the pain a way." Gabby said while Matt was just staring at her, not really listening to her words. There was so much on her mind, so much he wanted to tell her, so much that needed to be said.  
>"We are almost there." Gabby said recognizing that Matt wasn't listening to her at all. She could see that he was in pain-<p>

"Any news?" Severide asked out of breath as soon as he entered the ER, spotting Dawson on a chair in the waiting room.

"No nothing yet. Kelly you really don't need to worry. I am pretty sure you can take him back home in a few hours." Dawson said watching as Kelly was rubbing his face.

"As I saw that ambulance in front of our house...damn it's been a lot lately." He said, tears visible in his eyes.

"I know." Dawson said, placing a hand on his arm.

As the doors to the room Matt had been broad in opened again Kelly couldn't believe his eyes as Casey was walking towards them a smile on his face.

"Pinched nerve just as Gabby said. Got some injections and painkillers and tomorrow a physiotherapist is coming to the apartment starting with the treatment as I am not able to drive on my own. So nothing serious."

"Oh thank god!" Severide said getting to his feet.  
>"I am glad you are okay." Gabby said smiling.<p>

"You are riding along with us?" Severide asked.

"No I'm good. Get well soon Matt. See you at the station." Gabby said before heading towards the exit.

"What was she doing at the apartment anyway?" Severide asked now turning towards Matt.

"I seriously have no idea."

"Come on I will get you home before you really have to stay here."

**Two weeks later:**

Casey felt beyond relieved as he got the all clear to return to full duty, his back finally feeling normal again. His throat was still sore and he couldn't touch it or have anything on it but that was a fact he didn't add due to the fact that his protective gear would always touch his neck and press onto it but returning back to duty was everything Casey had been looking forward to since the day he had noticed that Dawson was not by his side in the hospital.

Severide knew that Casey had been working to get back to full duty, his depressed mood from the hospital had changed into the determined mood to get back to work. Severide could just hope that Casey would stay that focused, that he would be okay with the situation once he had returned to work. He couldn't have been more wrong.

"Hey look who is back!" Herrmann cheered as soon as he watched Severide and Casey enter the firehouse together.

"Nice to see you too Herrmann!" Casey said, closing his eyes as he could feel Herrmann's arms around him. How much all this guys meant to him. His team, his family.

As Casey finally made his way into the main area Dawson was just preparing breakfast. "Morning." Casey said, getting her to look up.

"Hey Matt, Lieutenant. It's great to have you back." She said but for Casey it felt like she was just rambling a phrase.

"It's good to be back." He said feeling Dawson's eyes on his scar. He could still feel her hands on his neck, trying in vein to stop the bleeding.

"Let's hope you will get a slow day for your first day back." Otis said while everyone turned around facing him with open mouths.

"Oh come on Otis, you did not just say that!" Cruz said while the overhead paging system sounded immediately.

"_Ambulance 61, Squad 3, Truck 81, Two car accident..." _  
>"Thanks Otis! Alright guys. Let's roll." Casey said hurrying towards his Truck. Finally. He nearly collided with Herrmann watching in amusement as Herrmann was about to enter the drivers side. "Good times are over Herrmann." Casey joked getting into the front seat, desperately trying to hold any fabric as far away from his wound as possible. He could nearly feel Gabby's eyes watching him while doing so.<p>

"It's going to stay sensitive for a while." She pointed, receiving a small nod from Casey.

"Alright guys. You all know my voice is not back to 100 percent yet." Casey said.

"If you don't understand something, ask! No stupid movements because you didn't copy? You all got that?" Casey instructed.

As soon as they arrived at the scene Casey hopped out of the Truck, marching towards the two cars, taking in the surroundings. He fumbled the fabric away from his neck again before starting to talk into his radio, so he didn't have to yell out loud, something he really wasn't able to at the moment.

"_I am Lieutenant Casey with the fire department. We will get you out." _He started reassuring a crying and screaming woman in the first vehicle before taking in the other vehicle, his face dropping immediately as he spotted the other person in the car. Chaplain Orlovsky. One of the few people he had ever talked to after Halie's dead. One of the few people he had ever talked to at all, about his childhood, his mum, his dad, his family, his sorrows, his fears, about everything.

Gabby.

He knew that the Chaplain had helped her through Shay's dead when he just hadn't been able to get through to her. When he hadn't been able to help her deal with something he hadn't been able to deal with properly since his childhood.

"_Sev!"_ Casey called out in panic, Severide noticing immediately that something was off. Casey would never call him Sev on duty otherwise.  
><em>"Yeah?"<em> He asked, turning a little to face Matt and what ever was causing his friend to look ghostly pale within an instant.

"_It's Chaplain Orlovsky!"_ Casey pointed out getting Severide to jump into action while Casey was still too shocked.

_"Guys separate the two vehicle. We will pull them both out the same time alright?"_ He instructed. _"Otis get ready on that winch."_ Severide continued to yell orders at Casey's people, quickly looking over to his friend, who hadn't moved at all.

"_Wait! Wait."_ Casey said walking over to Severide.

"_Hold. If we move this car first she could be paralyzed to worse."_ Casey pointed out.

"_The longer he is pinned in the more blood..." _

"_I know!" _Casey said cutting Severide off. He was pretty aware of all this facts but they couldn't risk a life to safe some of them. They all knew that and nonetheless Kelly had been willing to make that call and Casey knew that it was because of him, because Kelly knew that the Chaplain had helped him through some very dark times in his life.

"_Your call."_ Severide now said, knowing that they had no choice if they wanted to make this right. Casey could feel all eyes resting on him. He knew what the Chaplain meant to each and every member of his crew. He tried to think, tried to focus. He was their Lieutenant, he needed to make a decision now.

Severide hold his breath looking straight at Casey.

"_Herrmann, Dawson, get the jaws._" Casey said, his voice shaky.  
><em>"Lieutenant with all due respect, it's the Chaplain." <em>Dawson pointed out, walking over to him.  
><em>"We are getting her out first!"<em> Casey just said with all authority he could put into his words, his eyes giving away all the pressure and all the pain he was feeling right now. He had to make a decision and there was no time for second guessing himself. And it hurt him deeply that she was. From all of them she should know how he was feeling right now.

"_You heard him Candidate. Move it!"_ Herrmann said getting into action. Casey just closed his eyes for a second. She was questioning his orders again and he knew that he had to call her about it.  
><em>"Mills, status!"<em> Casey yelled as soon as he could see Mills disappearing into the wracked car. _"Yeah I got a pulse but it's weak. He has lost a lot of blood from his head wound."_ Mills said, getting Casey to feel the pressure rising on his shoulders. He was just standing by the scene now, letting his people work, unable to do anything.

Back at the station Casey just listened to Hermann talking about the Chaplain and watching Gabby from the corner of his eyes. She looked exactly the way he was feeling.

As soon as Mills rounded the corner Casey made his way towards him.  
><em>"Hey, how is he?"<em>

"_He's still touch and go. He has multiple internal injuries, still hasn't regained consciousness."  
>"Okay." <em>Casey whispered before speaking up again.  
><em>"The extra time he spent pinned in...how much worse did that make it?"<em> He asked, getting Dawson to wide her eyes, just like any other member of the group nearby. Casey was beating himself up for it, he had to make a decision and now he was struggling badly.

Mills just shrugged but his face was giving away all the information Matt needed. He looked at Mills, trying to blink away the tears that where now building in his eyes before he continued to march towards his office. He needed to be alone now, needed to think.

As soon as he collapsed onto his chair Matt burrowed his head in his hands, tears now burning in his eyes. Who was he that he had to play god today, making a decision who could live and who could die?

He had sat in this small room under the staircase as HIS mother has shot his dead.

He had watched Darden die in front of his eyes - under HIS command.

He had tried to get Hallie's heart back to beating, losing her under HIS hands – under HIS command.

Who was he to decided who could live and who could die?

...to be continued!


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Burn mark**

Guys you are really amazing. As you may have recognized I really don't have much time to update so I can't thank each and everyone personally so I am just saying my THANKS here! Keep the reviews coming. I can't wait!

I used another episode of the show here as I think it was such a great scene between Severide and Casey and it would fit in perfectly here so hope you have fun with it.

Gabby didn't wait a second before following Matt. She could still hear his words echoing in her ears. He was beating himself up for it badly. She knew that she had made a huge mistake by calling him on it at the scene but she had panicked even though she knew that Matt had no choice. She rounded the corner, knocking onto the closed door before opening it, not waiting for an answer. Matt's head shot up, looking towards her shocked, his eyes red from crying, tears still running down his cheeks.

"Matt...I...I mean Lieutenant. I am just...just checking in on you." She rambled. 

Meanwhile Herrmann made his way directly towards Severide who just hopped out of the Squad car as they had needed to stop for fuel on their way back.

"Any news on the Chaplain?" Severide asked immediately.

"You should check on Casey." Herrmann said not answering his question.

"What? Why?" Severide asked alarmed.

"He asked Mills if the extra time made the Chaplains condition worse. Chaplain is still touch and go and Casey is beating himself up for it." Herrmann filled him in, getting Severide to nod, hurrying towards Casey's office without hesitating.

"All souls weight the same. One life isn't worth more than another." Gabby said getting Casey to just stare back at her.

"That's what the Chaplain had told me after Shay died." She continued while she could see more tears building up in Casey's eyes. He whipped them away angrily.

"Don't do that to you Matt!"

"You where second guessing my decision right on scene. I can promise you it wasn't an easy choice to make!" Matt said with anger in his voice.

"I know and I am sorry. I shouldn't have done that but it's..."

"No there is no BUT! I am your Lieutenant and you should not second guess my orders. How many times have I told you that?" Casey now said. He didn't want her to see him that vulnerable right now and all he could do about it was to get angry about her second guessing him again.

Severide just rounded the corner as he could hear Casey's loud voice.

"I am sorry." Gabby said clearly hurt before turning around, leaving Casey's office again. She nearly collided with Severide but kept storming out while it was now Severide's part to face Casey. He could see that his fellow Lieutenant and best friend had been crying. Something that startled him.

"Hey you okay?" He asked receiving a glance from Casey.

"Yeah okay stupid question, I get that." Severide said.

"I can clearly talk on my own again you don't need to translate my glances anymore." Casey shot back, while Severide closed the door behind him.

"I really don't have any time to talk right now. I need to finish up that incident report and then..." "Casey stop it! I mean it. Stop pushing me away."

"I am not pushing you away."

"Any news on the Chaplain yet?"

"He is still touch and go." Casey said, not giving away any reaction.

"Why was Dawson storming out of your office? Something I need to know?"

"I just told my Candidate to never second guess my decision ever again." Severide just nodded taking in Casey's image. He knew that he couldn't push him any further. After all this years of friendship he knew that he had to wait for Casey to talk about what was bothering him.

"You come and grab some lunch?"

"No."

"Alright. I will bring you a plate."

"I am not hungry."

"And I am not arguing about that part." Severide said before leaving Casey's office, closing the door behind him to let Casey figure out whatever was going on in his head right now.

It didn't take long until the overhead paging system announced their next call. Apartment fire. Casey exhaled deeply. He knew that he had to be completely focused now.  
>As they entered the scene Severide grabbed his arm for a second.<p>

"Are you good to go? I need to know you are with me here." He said getting Casey to nod.  
>"Herrmann, Dawson, Mouch with me." Casey tried to yell, his voice cracking immediately.<p>

"Come again Lieutenant?" Herrmann asked into his radio.

"I said Herrmann, Dawson and Mouch with me." Casey repeated, his voice cracking again but nonetheless his team had understood and so Herrmann, Dawson and Mouch followed him inside the burning building.

They had just reached the second floor as a woman came stumbling towards them, crying hysterically.

"My baby! You have to get my baby. I couldn't reach her." She yelled, pointing towards her apartment upstairs, barely visible in all the smoke and fire. Casey closed his eyes for a second. A baby...this was the last thing he needed right now.

"Where is she?" Casey tried to ask loudly through his mask, his voice cracking.

"Where is she?" Herrmann behind him stepped in.

"In the bathroom, the last door on the right."

"Which apartment number?"

"4103"

Casey breathed into his mask, looking upwards. The forth floor was exactly where the fire was raging.

"I will get her. Herrmann, Dawson you continue searching this floor." Casey said, knowing that Mouch was just bringing the woman outside.

"You can't get up there alone." Herrmann pointed out, while Casey found Dawson's eyes under the mask.

"It's too dangerous." Casey said before climbing up the steps as fast as possible.

"Casey, not more than one minute you hear me?" Chief Boden said through the radio.

"Copy." Casey entered the apartment quickly, flames already rising in the living room. Even through his gear he could feel the unbelievable heat. He tried to calm his breathing but panic was slowly rising in his chest. He knew that he shouldn't be here but saving a baby was more important than his own well being.

He proceeded the small path towards the living room, trying in vein to open the door, the roof above him screaming under the fire.

"Casey you need to get out of there now." Boden said.

"Just seconds away Chief." Casey opened the bathroom door with full force, a small dog running out of the bathroom immediately. Casey tried his best to see in all this smoke, his hands searching for the baby, but nothing to be found.

"I can't find her!" He screamed inside his radio, still searching frantically.

"Casey you need to get out of there now." Casey turned around again still trying to find the baby, his heart hammering in his chest. He couldn't make her out anywhere.

"Ask the mother if she is sure the baby is in the bathroom. I can't find her!" Casey said again, while Severide was now the last one getting out of the building, hearing Casey's panic.

"Casey get out of there now!" Boden yelled, while Casey made his way towards the apartment door again, his exit way completely blocked by now.

"Exit is blocked. Get the ladder up here." Casey said into his radio, his voice just above a whisper the stress not doing any good to his voice.

"Come again Casey?"

"Mayday. Mayday. Exit is blocked." Casey said spotting a window in the bathroom. He knew that he couldn't just open it due to the flames raging in his back.

He closed the door behind him, before leaning against it. Severide looked up as he could hear Casey calling for mayday.

"Damn it!" He cursed looking sideways at Dawson, who was starring at him full of angst.

"We will get him out of there." He said before turning around.

"Get the ladder!" Severide said before hurrying towards his trapped friend.

"_I am coming for you Casey!"_ He said, while Casey tried his best to hold the raging flames back. He knew that even with his gear he would burn to death once the door got open.

"_Better make it fast, it's getting hot in here."_ He said into his radio. 

"_Come on Casey!"_ Severide yelled as soon as he had reached the level, spotting Casey.  
><em>"No way! Not until you are out of range."<em>  
><em>"Not moving! Let go now!"<em> Severide yelled making his point perfectly clear.

Casey knew that he had to move fast. Without hesitating any longer he let go of the door and ran towards the window, knowing that he would die if he would trip or stumble. With a huge fireball he jumped out of the window into the complete dark, great full as he could grab onto the ladder but soon recognizing that he wasn't actually on the ladder.

"_Damn it Casey hold on!"_ Severide yelled as his eyes spotted Casey's holding onto the ladder, his legs hanging into the air.  
><em>"I can't...I can't get up."<em> Casey said, trying in vein to get his legs onto the ladder.  
><em>"Grab my arm!"<em> Severide yelled, trying to reach for Casey.

On the ground Dawson watched in horror as Casey was hanging onto the ladder so far away from the safe ground.

Casey could feel Severide's hand on the thick fabric of his jacket, pulling him towards safety with all his strength.  
><em>"Come on. I got you!"<em> Severide said, collapsing to the ladder with Casey as he finally made his way back to safety.

Together they climbed down the ladder, Severide having a securing arm on Casey's back. As soon as they got back to the ground Casey was meet by worried eyes from Dawson. He tried to walk away from the ladder, his legs way to shaky as he collapsed to the ground just inches away. "Casey!" Severide yelled turning around to his friend.

"Your jacket is broken, we need to check your back for injuries." Dawson pointed out at the same time while Casey was just sitting on the floor trying in vein to get his emotions in check.

"I couldn't...I couldn't find the baby." Casey said, looking towards the hysterically crying woman. "I will go talk to her." Severide said reaching out for Casey.

"Come on we will let you get checked at the ambo." He said, Casey slowly shaking his head.

"Mills and Brett where busy enough. I'm fine."

"We will check on him." Mouch said, freeing Casey from his jacket with Dawson's help while Casey watched Severide walking over to the crying woman.

"You got a second degree burn on your back." Dawson pointed out gesturing for Mills to come over.

Severide could see Dawson waving for Mills and exhaled deeply. Not again. It was just Matt's first day back. His heart hammered in his chest as he faced the woman trying to sort out what he could tell her.

"Oh my god! Judy! My baby!" She yelled out of nowhere as a small dog came running out of the building. Severide widened his eyes turning around to see the woman crashing to her knees, cuddling the small dog.

"Ma'me you said there was a baby inside your apartment." Severide said, walking over to the woman not believing what was just happening.

"Yes my little Judy. She made it out on her own." The woman cheered, leaving Severide speechless. He turned towards Casey who was still sitting on the wet ground, Mills now treating his back, while Dawson was kneeling in front of him, talking to him, but Matt had his head down. Severide could physically feel the pressure on his shoulders.

"You tried everything to save the baby. There was nothing you could do." Dawson said, trying to get him out of his misery. She swallowed to stop the tears that where now building in her eyes, seeing Matt like this. She knew that he was beyond strong but maybe it was more than he could take right now.

….to be continued! 


	10. Chapter 10

Hey!

Thank you all so much for your reviews. Here is the new chapter. I really hated the last episode I have to admit. YES I loved that Casey was in harms way but than Dawson and this "Baby don't scare me like this..." and them putting their ENGAGEMENT on hold just like that...sorry but no!

If you leave a review (which I of course hope for): I need your opinion! What would you guys like? Should I get our Lieutenant more into harms way and keep it dramatic or should I keep it realistic and stop it :o) As you guys know I can't get enough of Casey whump but I don't want to overplay it. What do you guys think?

Have fun with the new chapter!

**Chapter 10 - Lost**

"There was no baby inside the apartment!" Severide said as he reached the group, getting Casey to look back up at him immediately.

"What?"

"This damn dog is her baby!" Severide said, while Casey now turned around to face the woman still cuddling the little dog.

"You are kidding me right?" Casey said, wincing in pain as Mills got the burn cream on his back. "No she just confirmed it."

Casey shook his head full of disbelieve before breaking into a hysterical yet so honest laughter.

"It was an honor to nearly get myself grilled because of a dog." He said while Severide, who was kneeling in front of Casey as well just patted his shoulder. Casey looked at Dawson and could see the tears shining in her eyes even if she was laughing. He knew that everyone was as relived as he was right now. He could feel Gabby's hand on his cheek for a second and closed his eyes. It felt so normal, so gentle and yet he knew that it was just a reaction to the emotions that got everyone overwhelmed in this situation. He opened his eyes as he could feel Gabby standing up again.

"Mills what about his back?" Severide asked looking up at Mills who just rose to his feet again.

"It's a small second degree burn. Patched it up, nothing to be worried about."

"See I told you I'm fine." Casey said while accepting Severides hand now to get him back to his feet.  
>"Casey! We will talk about that later!" Boden said as he walked by, getting Casey to nod. He could feel Severide's glance and just looked back at him.<p>

"What? You would have done the same and we both know that." Casey said, getting Severide to raise his arms in defeat.

"Not saying a single word am I?" Severide asked with a smirk while helping Casey to get his shirt back on. As soon as they arrived back at the firehouse Casey called the hospital for news on the Chaplain. He exhaled deeply as he just got the answer that there was no change in the Chaplains condition.

Casey could feel his back aching as he was sitting on his chair in his small office. He was tired, exhausted and his throats was aching like hell.

"Lieutenant Casey? Chief wants to see you now."

"Thanks Conny." Casey tried to say, his voice nearly completely gone at this point.

"Casey how is your back?" Chief asked as soon as Casey had made his way into his office, gesturing for his Lieutenant to take a seat.

"Mills patched..." Casey tried before trying again.

"Mills patched it up. Just a small burn." He continued with his voice gone. He could see Boden furrowing his eyebrows.

"That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You can be damn lucky that it's just a small burn. I told you to get out of the building long before!"

"Chief it was a baby in there...or better we thought it was a baby in there."

"I know that but would you have made the same decision if the call with Chaplain Orlovsky had went different?" Boden pointed out, not missing the reaction in Casey's face.

"I would definitely run into that building again to try and safe a little baby and you know that. We would all do that."

Chief Boden just nodded, having trouble to understand Casey as his voice was beyond bad now. "Casey I want you to talk to someone about what had happened during the call at the prison and about what had happened today."

"Chief I'm fine and I got plenty of people to talk to. Ask Severide, I am talking to him. I will definitely not talk to anyone."

"You know I can not convince you to see someone even if I would love to."

"Chief I'm fine."

"Get Herrmann to cover up for you today, it's been enough for your first day back and beside that with your voice like that there is nothing you can do on a call right now."  
>"I told you I'm fine."<br>"And I told you to go home and rest."  
>"Yes Chief." Casey said before heading back to his office to grab his things. He wasn't okay with it but he had lectured Dawson to not second guess his decisions so he couldn't just do the same with Chief Boden now.<p>

Casey walked into the main area gesturing for Herrmann to come over to him.

"I will..." Casey exhaled deeply before trying again. .

"I am going to head home. You have to cover me up again, will you?"

"Of course. Are you alright?"

"Chief send me home. Voice is bad."

"Yeah I can sign that. Get some rest." Casey nodded before heading towards the locker room. Severide was just walking back into the main area as he could hear Herrmann's speech.

"Alright everyone listen up for a second. Casey is heading home, I will cover up for him."

Severide wanted to follow Casey but could see that Dawson was already getting to her feet. He watched as she was heading towards the locker room too, nodding to himself. He knew how much Casey needed her right now and could just hope that Dawson would feel it too as Casey would never admit it on his own.

"Hey, you okay?" Dawson asked, watching as Casey struggled with his jacket. She stepped in immediately, helping him put his arm in.

"Thanks. Damn it really hurts." Casey said before facing Dawson.

"You should take some painkillers so you don't pull anything again because you don't have complete mobility."

"Good point." Casey said, closing his eyes for a second as his throat was feeling like he was swallowing glass.

"Matt you okay? What did the doctor say because of your voice?"

"I'm fine. It's normal. They told me it would hurt for a while." Casey said now looking back at Gabby. No Lieutenant, no formal phrases, just them, talking like normal human beings.

"Gabby I really think we should..." he started before he could hear the overhead paging system go off.

"Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Police assistance."

"Take care." Gabby just said quickly while Matt just nodded.

"Be careful."

It was this second he recognized that he wanted to be her Lieutenant more than anything else, even though he just wanted to make sure she was okay, she was save.

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you heading home?" Severide asked as soon as Matt came into the bay area where he was sitting at the Squad table. Matt just pointed at his throat and Severide had to fight back the images of Matt laying on the floor bleeding to death as soon as the scar came into vision again.

"Yeah I recognized it was getting worse. Going to see a doctor?" Matt just shook his head.

"Of course not. Why am I even asking? Get some rest, okay?" Severide asked, patting onto Matt's back without thinking. He nearly jumped backwards as he could hear Casey moan out in pain, grabbing for Severide to keep himself upright.

"Oh no. Oh damn it. Casey! Oh no. I am such an idiot. I totally forgot about the burn mark. Are you okay?" Severide asked, while Casey was now looking back up at him.

"Idiot." he said with his cracked voice, but a smile visible on his face.

"Come on let me take a look. Man I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. Heading home now." Casey said, getting upright again.  
>Matt slammed his bag into the passenger site of his pick up not even thinking about driving home, even if he felt tired and exhausted. He knew that his place was on the Chaplains side today and nowhere else.<p>

Gabby entered the ICU unit calmly. The nurse had told her that the Chaplain already got a visitor who was refusing to leave his side but that it was okay if there where 2 people at a time. Gabby wasn't surprised that there was someone by his side. He had helped so many people over the years and now everyone should be willing to give this help back and stand by his side in this difficult time. As she entered the small room her gaze felt onto the Chaplain before she could see the still form on the chair next to the Chaplains bed. She closed her eyes as she recognized it was Matt. He was asleep and she could just make out that he hadn't been home after he had left shift. It had been 24 hours by now. Gabby made her way towards the Chaplains side, grabbing his hand.

"Chaplain, it's Gabriela. I really hope you will get better soon." Gabby said before turning her attention towards Matt again as he was getting restless in his chair out of nowhere.

"NO!" He just screamed, getting her to nearly jump while Matt's eyes flew open immediately. It had been a bad nightmare she could tell.

"Hey!" She said after a second as Matt's eyes finally landed on her. He rubbed his face with his hands before returning her "Hey."

"Have you been with the Chaplain all the time?"

"Yeah. He got no family and I mean...I couldn't just leave him here." Matt said, glad his voice was a little better by now.

"You are still beating yourself up for it." Gabby pointed out.

"It was my decision."

"And it was the right decision."

"We already talked about that." Matt said before getting to his feet, using the chair for comfort. He hadn't eaten in hours and the quick nap had ended with a horrible nightmare.

"You should head home and get some rest. Shift starts in 12 hours already."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah of course you are. Come on Matt. I will stay with him and I promise to inform you when I get any news."

"I will go and get some belongings and then..."

"Herrmann can take care of that and I am pretty sure he already is taking care of that. Go home now. We need you back to 100 percent tomorrow."  
>"You are right. Give me a call if anything changes."<p>

"You going to give Severide a call to pick you up?"

"No got my car at the parking lot."

"Matt honestly, I really don't think you should be driving after all those hours and..."

"I told you I'm fine. Promise to give me a call."

"I will." Gabby said knowing better than to argue with Matt right now.

A few hours later a doctor finally entered the room, filling Gabby into the Chaplains condition. Gabby didn't hesitate a second before trying to call Matt. She breathed out heavily after trying it several times for at least an hour, nobody picking up on the other end. She knew that Matt had properly fallen asleep but nonetheless she was worried. She had never seen him like this before.  
>"Severide."<p>

"It's Dawson."

"Yeah I know. I saw your caller ID. What's up?"

"I tried to call Matt for an hour. Is he asleep?"

"No I just got home. He is not here. Why?"

"I found him in Chaplain Orlovskys room. He had been here since leaving shift. He wanted to head home but I couldn't reach him. I wanted to tell him that the Chaplain is finally out of the woods." "Hey that's great news but he isn't here and he never was I think." Severide said checking the apartment for any signs of Casey.  
>"Damn I shouldn't have let him drive."<p>

"He didn't say anything?"

"No. He just left Kelly." Severide exhaled deeply.

"I am really done worrying!" He said angrily.

"Can you give me a call if you find him?" Gabby asked.

"Of course."

Severide cursed before pushing the 4th button on his phone. Of course he got Casey on speed dial. Nothing.

"Casey! You better tell me you are okay!" He wrote a text before turning around in the living room, not sure what to do next. Should he wait at the apartment? Should he drive to...to where...he could be anywhere.

Severide tried to get his mind in check, trying to fight back to urge to call the hospitals and ask if a Matt Casey had been brought it. Oh he was so done worrying.

...to be continued!


	11. Chapter 11

Okay I am NOT satisfied with this chapter. I think that's why it took me so long to finally update. Thanks for all your reviews and opinions. So yes, more Casey hurt! Exactly what I like :o) Thanks for being with me at this point.

And now you all have to be strong: I hope I will get another update done this week. From Saturday on I will be on a cruise for 3 weeks so no internet, no computer, no updates :o)

Oh and I can't help myself but this weeks episode was crap! I don't get that storyline or I don't get Gabby. She broke up with Matt and now SHE is having a hard time? Sorry...I am really glad I got my own story (line) here. 

Chapter 11 – On hold

After pacing through the room for another 20 minutes Severide got his keys and headed down for his car, starting to drive through the city, trying to find a sign of Matt. Of course he got nothing.

As he pulled up in front of the apartment again he couldn't believe to see Casey sitting on the doorstep in front of the large entry door.

"What the hell where you thinking? You have to be kidding me!" Severide yelled as soon as he got out of the car just to spot the whole misery as he neared Casey. His eyes where red and he was obviously drunk.

"I don't know what to do anymore." Matt said getting Kelly to froze in his tracks. And there it was again. The depressed side. The side he had been worried about since the second Matt had woken up in the hospital. The side that was scaring the shit out of him.

"Come on. Let's get you inside." He said, helping Matt to his feet again. He had to get him back on track...shift was starting in 8 hours no matter what.

He lowered Matt onto the couch looking at his drunk and completely wasted friend.

"You need to grab some sleep, shift starts soon."

"I am not going back there."

"Oh yes you are and man I am sorry but I will not discuss anything like that at the moment."

"I'm not drunk."

"Yeah right. You are not drunk and other than that you are absolutely fine. I got it. Come on, let's get you settled."

"I don't need your help." Casey shot back as Severide was reaching for his boots.

"Alright. Than get yourself comfortable on your own. I will get a bowl if you need to throw up."

"I am not drunk."

"Yeah I already know that point."

As Severide returned with the bowl he exhaled deeply as he found Casey fast asleep on the couch. He got his boots off before placing the bowl next to Casey and grabbed a blanket. He gently laid it over his best friend shaking his head at the image in front of him.  
>"I am so sorry you have to go through all of this." He said before exhaling deeply. At least he would get a couple of hours sleep so they just had to face a major hangover tomorrow and Casey's mental state.<p>

"Kelly did you find him?" Dawson said immediately as she picked up her phone.

"Yes. He was sitting on our doorstep as I returned from my searching patrol. He's completely drunk but now asleep on the couch."

"Thank god he is home."

"See you tomorrow on shift." Kelly said shortly before hanging up getting himself comfortable on the recliner next to Casey. Just in case Casey would need anything during the night. They both woke up to Kelly's alarm the next morning. He had set it a little earlier so they could handle Casey's hangover before getting on shift.

Casey blinked a few times before slowly sitting up, facing Kelly.

"What the hell happened?" He asked, getting Kelly to shrug.

"That was my question. I just found you on our doorstep."

"Damn." Casey grumbled, rubbing his hands through his face.

"Shift starts in one and a half hours. You think you are up for it?"

"Don't have a choice right?"

"You can call in sick."

"Not an option."

"Dawson called yesterday, in fact we talked a few times while searching for you. You really have to stop getting me worried like that a few times a day, you hear me?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah for sure you are. But I mean it. Getting your throat cut and nearly bleeding to death, nearly getting grilled inside of the apartment and now this. It's enough Matt! Dawson told me that the Chaplain is out of the woods."

"He is? Oh thank god!" Kelly could literally hear and see the heavy stones dropping from Casey's shoulders.

"Come on. You need to take a shower. I will get you a strong coffee."

"Good plan."

"Watch your burn mark."  
>"I will."<p>

As they finally arrived at the firehouse they where just a couple of minutes late but Chief Boden was already standing in the bay area.

"Nice my two Lieutenants made it." He said, but a smirk was visible on his face.

"He is the one that got wasted and drunk. I promise." Kelly said pointing at Matt.

"Sorry Chief." Casey could see the sorrow in Boden's eyes. Last shift he had tried to convince Casey to see someone and now he was showing up with a major hangover. Not a good sign.

"Are you ready for shift?"

"One hundred percent Chief."

"Let Mills check out your burn mark."

"I will."

Casey made his way to the locker room where Mills was just getting ready on his own.

"Morning Casey. How is your back?"

"Feeling a little sore. Maybe you can take a look later?"

"Of course. I will get the kid from the ambo and check on it." Mills said while Casey started to get dressed into his gear. He just got his shirt off as Dawson slipped into the room. She turned around as she faced Casey half naked before turning around again, walking over to him.

"You scared the hell out of me yesterday." She said directly, getting Casey to turn around and look at her.

"I just went to a bar, nothing unusual."

"You okay Matt?" Gabby asked, making eye contact now. She nearly couldn't stand the sad and empty look in his eyes. Something she had last seen in his eyes after loosing Darden.

"Of course." He just answered, breaking the eye contact before answering. He couldn't just lie to her like that.

"Oh hey. I'm sorry. I can come back later if you..." Mills said as he spotted Dawson and Casey standing in front of each other.

"No. I would like to get it checked out before the first call."

"I will check it." Gabby said getting the kid from Mills hands.

"Gabby." Matt plead but Gabby was already getting the kid ready on the bench.

"Will you sit down for me please?" She asked not hearing his protests. Gabby freed him from the bandage before looking at the burn mark.

"The skin broke. I will have to clean it up before putting new creme onto it. You know that it's going to hurt like hell."

"Yeah not the first time." Casey said gritting his teeth. He breathed out heavily as Dawson cleaned his wound before patching it up probably again.

"You need to get it cleaned in 12 hours again." She said rubbing her hand over Casey's naked back in a small circle. Casey closed his eyes, longing for her embrace, longing for her lips on his. How much he needed her...right now more than ever.

He turned around a little, facing her over his shoulder. He wanted to tell her how he was feeling but Gabby already started.

"Do you think we can put us on hold for a while?" She asked, watching as Casey's eyes even got sadder.  
>Matt could feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.<p>

"No." He just answered, closing his eyes as the overhead paging system went off again. He raised to his feet, watching as Gabby closed the first aid kid, hurrying to get it back to the ambo while he got dressed completely.

Matt tried to concentrate as he was finally sitting in the passenger seat of the truck.

"_Do you think we can put us on hold for a while?" _Her voice echoed through his head again. How should he just do that? He was missing her so badly and he couldn't just pretend that he was okay with it. With them being apart. He loved her, how should he be able to just ignore it? How was she able to just put them on hold?

"Casey?" Cruz said looking sideways at his Lieutenant.

"What?" He asked startled.

"I was just asking if Dawson is with me or with you today." Herrmann now said from the back, getting Casey to turn a little, facing both Herrmann and Dawson.

"I'm going to tell you when we arrive at the scene." He said trying to put his mind at ease. He hadn't even heard what they where heading to. Casey looked up at the burning building after the truck came to a stop. He couldn't face Dawson right now, he didn't want her near but since they weren't a couple anymore there was no reason why she should be with Herrmann instead of him. He was her Lieutenant not Herrmann.

"Okay primary search. Herrmann, Cruz, Otis with me. Dawson you are glued to my hip. I want you in arm lengths all the time. That's an order!" Casey made his point clear before entering the house together with his group. Cruz escorted the first people outside while the rest of the team continued the search. Casey could feel Dawson's presence all the time and as they finally made it out of the building he nodded at her, glad that she had accepted his order for once.

"Good job in there. Engine is doing the rest, let's pack up." Casey said pointing a thumb up at Severide who ordered his people to pack too.

"Glad we finally got a call where your ass didn't get wounded or burned." Severide said as they got back into the main area of the firehouse now recognizing that Casey was ghostly pale. He hurried towards the toilets while Severide closed his eyes for a second.

"Oh come on." He mumbled following his friend, just entering the room as Casey began to throw up heavily.

"Really? I was just relieved for 10 seconds. This can't really be happening." Severide said after Casey made his way out of the stall.

"Funny." He grumbled, rinsing his mouth before throwing some cold water into his face.

Casey crashed to his bed as soon as he had arrived in his office. He wasn't supposed to sleep during the day shift but he just felt beyond exhausted and Gabby's words just didn't stop echoing in his mind. So it was official that she wasn't giving them a chance in the near future. Images of the Darden boys and Andy slowly mixed with his situation. Why was everyone leaving him behind?

"Casey is taking a nap so don't rush into his office if it's not one hundred percent important. You can ask me instead." Severide said before sitting down at the table.

"What's going on with Casey lately? I mean he just came back last shift and had to leave earlier and he does not seem really...on task right now." Cruz pointed out and Severide could see that everyone else was thinking the same.

"He's going to be okay. You all remember he got his throat cut right? He is not completely back to his old form so stop thinking and help him out a little." Severide answered hoping that Casey would soon pull himself together.

Severide could feel Dawson starring at him but tried his best to ignore her. He didn't know what happened between the two of them again he just knew that Casey was even looking worse now.

Casey couldn't believe he really did fall asleep until the overhead paging system ended his restless sleep immediately.  
>"House fire." Severide yelled, busting into his office, while Casey was already on his feet.<p>

"I'm coming." He tried to yell, following Severide, waiting for the adrenaline to kick in and wash away the blur in his mind.

"Good morning Lieutenant." Cruz said as Casey hopped into the truck next to him.

"Could use a coffee now." Casey said, rubbing his hands through his face not knowing how bad this call would actually turn out.

….to be continued!

Okay next Chapter I will use another episode from the show to mix it with Casey's current situation...


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! I am sorry this very tiny little piece is all I got written because of the nearing holiday. So I will be back middle of March. Hope you are all having a good time till then!

Chapter 12 – Shield

"Cruz, Otis up the areal to went. Mouch, Hermann, Dawson, primary search with me." Casey tried to yell, his voice breaking immediately.

"Damn." He cursed before speaking into his radio.

"Fife possible victims. Capp and me will go with you on the search." Severide came in over the radio.

Casey was glad that he walked into the house together with Severide. After his nap he felt way better but still he felt exhausted and tired.

"_Hey Casey, we will take the west side." _Severide said as he saw the inferno behind the door, waiting for them.  
><em>"Copy. We will take the west side of the hall."<em>

Casey took in a shaky breath. The flames where raging and he had to admit that there was zero visibility inside the room. He tried to find something, anything with his hands, while he could feel Dawson holding onto his jacket now. He knew that it was her first time in a situation like that and he was glad that she was reaching out for him instead of playing cool.

"_I got one!" _Casey yelled as he could feel a hand on the floor. He tried to tug the body away a little as he could see the small hand underneath it. Casey tried to control the raising panic while seeing the small child's hand.

"_I got a kid here. I need backup in the bedroom west end of the hall. Now!"_

Casey was relieved as he could see Severide and Hermann appering in the room just seconds after his call.

"_We need to roll him."_ Casey said grabbing the man with Severide, not even the slightest bit prepared of what was waiting for them. As soon as he spotted the whole family lying underneath the man he tried to find his breath.

"_Oh my god. They are all here."_ He said before he heard Herrmann telling him that the children where moving.

Casey waited for Severide before lifting the man up together with Mouch, starting to drag him out of the burning building. He could already see that the man was badly burned and could just hope that they weren't to late. Not for this man, not for what he had just done to protect his family.

"_Hold on buddy." _He said hurrying towards the waiting ambo.

Severide could hear Casey's labored breathing and the exhaustion as they carried the man down the stairs.

"_Let's go." _Severide said into his radio to keep Casey moving and on task. The stretcher was already waiting for them.  
><em>"He hasn't moved." <em>Casey said as the laid the man down before freeing himself form his breathing apparatus.

Casey could hear Mills and Brett's words, he could see the line on the monitor and he could hear that little boy, asking for his daddy. He had to grow up without a father, the Darden boys had to grow up without a father, and this man had just sacrificed his life for his family. He couldn't die. Not now. Not like this. Not after what he had done for his family.

So Casey moved and shoved Mills aside before starting CPR on the man.

Dawson looked at Casey with tears already building up in her eyes. She knew that the man was gone and that there was nothing more they could do and she knew that Casey was aware of that too deep down inside of him. Seeing him like that, fighting for a man long gone so desperate and broken made her heart ache. She looked at Severide who was just starring at Casey a blank expression on his face, trying to understand what Matt was doing, why he was reacting like that. "Casey." Mills said but Severide stepped in immediately.

"_Let him try."_ He said, knowing that they couldn't stop Casey now, that he needed to try and get this man back to life even if it was not possible.

"_Come on!"_Matt screamed, continuing to proceed CPR.

"_Come on!" _He yelled, tears now building in his eyes.

Dawson swallowed hard before stepping forward, touching Matt's arm.

"_Matt."_ She said softly, relieved that he was slowing down.

"_Let's call it."_ She said, knowing that there was nothing left to do. She could see the tears in Matt's eyes as he begged away from the stretcher.

The ride back to the firehouse was spent in complete silence. Gabby could only see the back of Matt but she could see that his head was resting on the side frame. He was possible caught up in his own thoughts right now.  
><em>"I could really use a bear right now." <em>Severide said, looking into the freezer.

"_Something stronger." _Casey said before crushing down on his chair. He knew that he couldn't go back and hide in his office right now. He was the Lieutenant and in situations like this his team needed him, whether he was feeling up to it or not.

"_Ever seen anything like that before? Guy lying on top of his family like a shield."_ Gabby asked, sitting down next to him. He could see that she was startled too and he could understand her. It was her first fire like that, the first body she had to pull out of a fire, it was tough for her too.

"_No."_ He said, trying to find some words to say.

Severide was watching Casey from the other side of the table, calmly studding his friends face. He was glad that Casey was still here and hadn't buried himself in his office.  
>"Look what I found." Mills said returning with a little bear in his arms.<p>

….to be continued!

I am really sorry it's that short but I am so going on holiday tomorrow :o)


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